kerwin and i were talking about it recently, and we agreed that it would be OK if someone came along and ripped our hearts out. i won’t speak for kerwin, but as for me: what the hell else do i have going on? i mean, sure. i’d rather get pulled into some weird toxic whirlwind storm and come out on the other side of it all shredded and flea-bitten than go on not feeling much at all!
i am erasing the old thing, or at least the parts of it that don’t matter anymore. i have now only a few boxes. and last week i burned a lot of letters i don’t need to read again. i read them one last time and i knew that it was fine if i didn’t again for one reason or another.
uh, you know: the point isn’t to absorb things or sculpt and mold and perfect, and so on. or at least i don’t think so anyway. i want to end up skeletal is what i’m saying. i want to ride this godawful train right on down to skeleton town!
it would be OK if i met someone and they hurt me or put me though something. hell, i don’t even know what there is for anyone to jab at anymore. but they sure can try! i’d let them. go ahead! jab at me, for god’s sake!!!
i will go on annihilating things that are useless to me now. i like a few things and i have kept them. and i ain’t just talking about stuff in my room! i have, in secret places, kept the things i like and will keep them there until they are useless to me too.
i kept some postcards i got in los angeles. they are beautiful in their hideouness! who wants one??