For many years I cut my own hair. I was cheap and didn’t want to pay someone else to do it, and thus my hair, cut by me, was atrociously bad . . . but you almost couldn’t tell because I have so much hair. Still, even if no one else could tell, I was certainly paralyzingly aware of how godawful it was. Thing is, I was not bad at cutting it, I just always got impatient and lazy halfway through and fucked up the layering. With a little clay or pomade, you couldn’t detect this.
However: one spring, a long time ago now, I realized I really liked a g-g-girl who lived up in Portland. I decided enough was enough, and that if I was going to go visit her there, I needed a proper haircut so she wouldn’t mistake me for a vagrant and run away screaming.
I found a woman in Berkeley named Lisa Eve . . . she was a vegan bodybuilder who drove a BMW and owned her own salon. I remember the first time I went in, I asked her if she could give me a “vampire Elvis” haircut, and she did it perfectly based on those two words. And meanwhile, her dog Sunny (rest in peace, angel) was seated on my lap while Lisa Eve told me about taking acid at some music festival and falling in love with a guy who, all due respect to him (she showed me a picture), was not at all in her league.
Lisa Eve cut my hair for years and years, always with Sunny on my lap, and always telling me about some deadbeat she was into (and her asking my advice on what to do about him) . . . I loved it. Even when she closed her salon, I’d still go to her house to get my haircut. She’s that good!
Now she tells me she got engaged and lives in Las Vegas, and that if I’m ever in town, she’ll cut my hair and, as an added bonus, I can crash with her. I will definitely do this at some point. Unfortunately, I only have six days left before I fly back to Berlin, so I’m stuck with this Spirit Halloween wig on my head until I can find someone who in Europe won’t even be half as good as Lisa to liberate me from it. Ugh!
I desperately need this again in order to look human:
. . . that’s from July 2022, just after I’d gotten out of a Bad Relationship and was preparing to leave the United States for Germany. That’s also from a few days before I joined Bex and her band on the West Coast leg of their tour from the Bay Area down to LA . . . ahh. Man, that was such a good time. Also, my hair looked great:
Aw :,)
Anyway . . . it’s four in the morning and fifteen degrees below freezing outside, so I guess I’m going to crawl inside my sleeping bag with my dumb hair and fall asleep dreaming about a good haircut and, to be quite honest, a person I miss a lot . . .
☆彡
