EARLIER TONIGHT, OUTSIDE THE EMERYVILLE BAY STREET HOME DEPOT:

KID: (passing by) Hey dude! Dude! Mister!

RYAN: (turning around) Howzzat?

KID: Dude, gimme your A’s cap! Please!

RYAN: I like this hat.

KID: C’mon, man!

RYAN: You gotta get your own, little dude.

KID: Aww!

RYAN: You don’t want this one, man. Trust me. It smells like a dead dude took a dump in it.