I am a career idiot, and tonight I made another mistake that I can toss into my sky-high Scrooge McDuck vault of mistakes.

This was my mistake: I am very sick but I can’t afford to not work. So tonight I went to work and drank the recommended dose of Safeway-brand orange-colored acetaminophen, and I was feeling pretty all right for a little while. The mistake came when I also drank a cup of coffee. Now I feel completely insane. My body has no idea how it’s supposed to feel. And beneath this DayQuil nightmare fever-hallucination, I am still dealthy ill with whatever godforsaken flu is going around Portland!

When I get home I guess I’m going to sedate myself and roll my broken body in five layers of blankets and go off to some other nightmare. And at least it will all be in my head! And I can escape this queer little hole called the world until my body unwillingly reawakens in this three-dimensional prison to do it all over again!!!