I want to write more about this later, because other than money it may be my greatest enemy, but I will say this:
Remember in ‘Blade Runner’ when Deckard reveals to Rachael that he knows her memories and dreams?
Alone and drunk in his apartment, Deckard dreams of a unicorn running through a forest. Later, he finds an origami unicorn outside of his apartment door, which was left there by Gaff. Does Gaff know Deckard’s dreams?
Is Deckard a replicant too??
Anyway: As I said, I have a great enemy—a great fear!—which is that I’m not exactly sure where my memories and dreams come from, or why they’re there, or anything like that. I told Hali last winter that I had gotten to a point where my own past was foreign to me. My history may as well have been someone else’s, and that maybe nothing had ever happened to me at all. I had all these memories built up in my brain, but they’re not really mine. They were created and experienced by someone else who may or may not have been a younger version of me. That’s what it feels like anyway.
I’m not suggesting I’m an android! (I mean, maybe. . . .)
What I’m saying is that I am often horrified when recalling the past, because I can’t remember how any of it ended up in my brain. I remember (I think) a time when I felt connected to the things I had done and had been through and seen and so on. But now I’m not sure. In dreams, as Madonna points out, there is no end and no beginning. Remember? In a dream you are thrown into the middle of it. You can’t remember how or when or why you got there, and should you drift off into another dream, or just plain old wake up, there is no logical conclusion to the thing you just experienced. It blurs and becomes something else equally jarring and weird.
Uh-oh! Am I living inside of a dream?
I am willing to accept that I am dreaming, and I am willing to bet that all of you are dreaming too. Have you dreamed me up or have I dreamed you up?
Are we dreaming together—dreaming simultaneously and occupying this one realm???
. . . or are we the dream of the universe? Are we the universe’s dream?
Is God the universe? Is the universe God?
Are we God’s dream?
What happens when God wakes up???