a few years ago, when my family still lived in my hometown (now empty of all of them), i found some boxes in my mother’s basement that i guess i had left there in 2011 when i moved from baltimore to austin. i found so many letters my dad had written me, some of them written on napkins and left on my steering wheel for me to find when i drove to school, and they all pretty much said the same thing: “i’m sorry that there have been times when i have failed you, but i love you very much and i always will.”

i have no idea when i will see my dad or any of my family again. it could be years, and it could just as well never happen again