I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, but the other day I got off work and immediately went to Trader Joe’s and bought two bottles of the crappy $3.99 pig-on-the-label wine I always get. The guy are the register said something like, “Looks like somebody’s gonna have themselves a night!” and I said “Yeah man I guess” . . . and lord, I sure did go outside and sit in my car and start drinking one of them right there in there parking lot. It was that kind of day. Man, it’s been that kind of half decade if I’m being honest. And before any of you narcs write an angry letter to my mother, listen: I live like four blocks away, OK, so I wiped my lip with my sleeve and drove the hell home before the good stuff kicked in.

I parked in my lot and got out and checked the mailbox. It was filled with trash. I got back in my car and turned on the radio and drank half the bottle before going inside. I’m sitting here now thinking about that half-drunk bottle, and how I am going to go home and hang out with it. The other one I hid in my car for some future night of utter revulsion for myself and the whole world (lol). Yeah.

Listen: I think I might go to Albany Bulb again tonight and hang out on the little cement castle by the water. Y’all know about that creepy little thing, yeah?? I like that thing. I’ve hung out inside and on top of it a whole bunch. (Thank god I regularly get tetanus shots~)

Anyway come on by. If you see the Datsun in the lot, I’m way the hell down the dirt trail near the jetty, or whatever, if the thing hasn’t been washed away yet, I can’t remember. I’ll have both bottles with me, and I’m like 95% sure I don’t have ultra-contagious strep throat bacteria in my mouth anymore, so we can just drink straight from the bottle, which is the only way to fly. Someone told me yesterday that by now the antibiotics would have cleaned me out completely. OK so doesn’t this all sound enticing now??

Here is an old picture world-famous French Canadian multimedia artist Laura Rokas took of me drunk on $3.99 Trader Joe’s pig wine at Albany Bulb probably two days after I met her. Hali Palombo, bless her heart, was there too. We had ourselves a time. What the hell. That blanket was the blanket that was on my bed all through middle and high school I reckon. It somehow ended up in the trunk of my police car in California, and because it was cold that night, we all huddled inside of it. I think it was later stolen along with everything else in the trunk. I’m sure it is now a rat’s nest in a sewer in the Lower Bottoms or something. Anyway Laura said I screamed “I AM THE SEA KING!” to the San Francisco Bay, which smelled rotten as hell that night, much as it always does. That was a good night. (What happened to having good nights???)