In one hour I am going to take the S-Bahn south from Schöneberg to Grunewald (literally “Green Forest”), which is a massive forested area on the outer rim of Berlin, to meet a Russian Girl there. I am to meet her outside a weird little restaurant / bar within Grunewald, where we’ll shotgun a few beers or whatever, and then get to walking. I told her I’m down to walk five miles (eight kilometers (lol)) AT MINIMUM, as I consider anything less than that to be a Baby Walk. She said, “да” and I said, “YeeeaaahhhhhhHHHH duuudddeeEEEE!”

So we’re gonna do it. It is imminent. All I need to do is brush my teeth and then I’m out the door.

Am I going to bring some of the edibles I received in a package from California yesterday? CAN this girl be trusted? Find out next week at my funeral!!