I spent most of today in Friedrichshain filming little commercials with my friend Isabella, who is Gego’s mother. She is starting a business where she helps women in Berlin build and fix things in their apartments so they don’t have to rely on a Creepy Guy From The Internet (CGFTI) to install a light fixture or wire an electrical socket.

Apparently when Isabella first moved into her apartment, she had a weird experience with an electrician who came into her house and made her feel deeply uncomfortable. So after she pushed him out the window to his death, she began teaching herself how to do everything . . . and she really can do it all.

And now, provided you are a woman living in Berlin who needs home improvement assistance, she can be hired to come and fix your shit for you.

Gego was happy to see me, but he soon became confused as to why I was there carrying a lot of bags, and reasonably misunderstood the nature of my presence. See, he associates me with coming to get him to bring him back to my place. And while Gego loves staying with me, he hates having to sit in a carrier to get there . . . so he totally ditched us and hung out under the bed the entire time! It literally looks like he’s defiantly crossing his arms in that picture I took.

We worked for several hours . . . I suggested she incorporate a Creepy Guy From The Internet scene to drive the message home. Thankfully I was on hand to play that guy. I even wore my Hooters shirt:

We also filmed a few scenes at her studio nearby, where she gleefully operated a buzzsaw and a power sander for the future viewers at home . . .

Now satisfied with having helped each other successfully ward off existential dread for at least eight hours of our lives, we went to a cafe nearby and sat outside eating bagel sandwiches and sharing a slice of pie.

At one point, while discussing our respective childhood miseries, a grey-haired woman chiefing on a cigarette approached our table. Isabella, seeming to know the woman, proceeded to exhaust the entirety of her knowledge of the German language having a brief conversation with her.

The woman had with her a dog-like cat named Niko, and the two of them were on a walk. Niko lay down and waited nearby as her owner socialized. I heard the older woman mention Gego and figured Niko and Gego were friends or at least tolerated one another well enough. Gego freely roams his own neighborhood, and so I imagine he has made a lot of friends and enemies there, mostly the latter (despite being universally beloved on the internet, he is a bit of controversial figure in real life (he is actually insane)) . . .

Isabella and I walked back to her place so I could collect my things. Naturally, I tried to take as many pictures of Gego as he would allow. And naturally, he threw a huge fit about it!

I said farewell to my friends, gave them both a hug (which pancaked Gego between us), and descended the long red-carpeted stairwell in the direction of home. Beneath my arm I had with me a painting Isabella had given me in exchange for helping her film. It appears to be a pair of root vegetable lovers (radishes?) embracing. Or anyway, that’s why I see. I am going to hang it in the antechamber of Starsailor HQ at the top of the Dracula Tower where I live . . .

For GOD’S SAKE . . . the first light in the sky has alerted me that dawn approaches, so I really ought to sleep. Farewell for now!!!