I went home last night feeling like a duffel bag full of rained-on vampire turds, and I’ll tell you what, I sure did snap out of it right quick on account of the niceness that has recently showed up on my doorstep, like a patch of toadstools rising up from the ground to catch me before I fall . . . and thus counteracting the deadly blow which forced me down in the first place. . . .
And I sure did write and write. I finally finished my great work, which I have called
Yes! As I have said before, we find our hero Gritt Calhoon journeying through space in a little ship head towards the kind of place you and I might call no place at all. His sixth wife has just left him for some rat-faced cheese-eating milk-drinker, and he’s got nothing to live for anymore, and he needs a place to take a piss and get a stack of pancakes and a shot and a beer, and so on . . . you know, just the sort of shit Gritt Calhoon’s always wadin his big-ass hips through. Well, he finds a hole in the ground, and I don’t mean to spoil nothing, but he goes down into it to take peep at what’s lurkin below with the big-ass beautiful eyes the Lord done gave him. It’s a wild thing. I hope y’all will dig it when I flop it out onto the sidewalk for y’all to chew on like sewer rats. Or maybe probably you’ll just step right over as though it were a flattened dog turd left out in the sun, which, honestly, is its true nature. Either way: here it comes!!!