i am obsessed with my own arctic death, so i was reading about HYPOTHERMIA just now

and of course i consulted THE WIKIPEDIA PAGE FOR HYPOTHERMIA

anyway under the header for “terminal burrowing”:

An apparent self-protective behaviour, known as “terminal burrowing”, or “hide-and-die syndrome”, occurs in the final stages of hypothermia. The afflicted will enter small, enclosed spaces, such as underneath beds or behind wardrobes. It is often associated with paradoxical undressing. Researchers in Germany claim this is “obviously an autonomous process of the brain stem, which is triggered in the final state of hypothermia and produces a primitive and burrowing-like behavior of protection, as seen in hibernating animals.” This happens mostly in cases where temperature drops slowly.

“paradoxical undressing” is when people begin to lose their minds and take off all their clothes even though they’re dying of heat loss . . . but man, this paragraph sure does contain the phrase “hide-and-die syndrome” !!

this is how it’s going to go down:

DOCTOR: Nurse, hand me that pistol.

NURSE: Doctor! You can’t be serious. . . ?

DOCTOR: This son of a bitch, this Ryan Starsailor son of a bitch, he’s got a bad case of hide-and-die syndrome, and there’s only one cure I know of.

NURSE: There must be some other way to—

DOCTOR: Quick! Grab hold of his legs before he starts taking all his clothes off. This is it, Nurse. Can’t you see it in his eyes? The poor fool—he’s really had it this time. Let’s send this son of a bitch to his reward. For God’s sake, we must!!

ok bye