I don’t know how it happened, but I have really good health insurance. Man, I don’t pay a cent for anything. Hell I ain’t even have any copays. It’s real cool, you know, to be able to see a doctor and a dentist again. It’d been a few years.

Since I got that little card in the mail, I have done the following:

• got me a general practitioner
• physical (I’m good!!)
• STD test (I’m clean!!)
• vaccinations for tetanus, HPV, the flu . . . maybe more??
• had all my medications paid for
• had my vision checked by an optometrist, who told me I might be going blind
• had my vision ultra-checked by a team of technicians and opthamolcigsts, who told me I was absolutely in no way going blind

Next week I am going to:

• get my teeth cleaned
• get “fitted” for a gold tooth
• see a dermatologist, because why the heck not

It feels like getting a tuneup and an oil change and new brakes and tires and so on. I’m just knocking all this stuff out at once. I mean, hell. It’s nice.

Tangentially related: These days my diet is fruit, cabbage, spinach, eggs, rice, quinoa, black and red beans, coconut milk (lol), and about a gallon of tea a day. About once a week I’ll drink a whole bottle of red wine by myself in a cemetery. I guess besides self-loathing that’s the closest thing I have to a vice.

Anyway this here body of mine is pretty OK for now!!!! Yeah!!!!!!