Lately I’ve been thinking about a U.S. government program to create dinosaurs to fight in foreign wars, Amazon selling heroin (and what the reviews would be like), a porno starring Mark Antony and Cleopatra, and a 70-hour film comprised of highlights from the memories of every bird that has existed since the world began.

Also I wrote this paragraph to describe how rock stars make sense of the world:

You’re crazy and suicidal and weirded out by the world and no one likes you. So you pick up a guitar and suddenly everything makes sense. Your destiny is written in stone. You might be dead in ten years, but it doesn’t matter—because right now you’ve got that God damn guitar, and right now you’re going to write a God damn song.

If powerful, mind-altering hallucinogens like psilocybin mushrooms and LSD were sold at 7-11, what catchy slogan would you find on the packaging? Don’t even think about it, because I already came up with it:

“Planet Earth—in a whole new way.”

(It was originally “Your neighborhood—in a whole new way,” but what if you’re not staying in your neighborhood? You’ve really got to consider these things from all angles. Also: this might not be immediately obvious, but that that em dash is critical to making the damn thing work. There is a beat there—a real, heavy pause. It makes sense to me, anyway.)

An idea dump:

Planet Texas. Bones found among the remains of squirrels, dogs, and a horse at the old fort. Celebrating equinoxes and solstices instead of imaginary human holidays. The cosmic hum. Vibrating inside of your own skeleton. A thin outline of a human being. Firefalls. Watching my sanity drip right down the drain. A heart attack gun. Domestic terrorism. An asteroid covered with a racetrack and a Budweiser factory. Purveyor of doom. Lonely old maid. A cat pondering its own mortality. The dreams of kings. The dreams of fascists. The King of Suicides. The Kingdom of Forgotten Stuffed Animals. A farewell transmission. A man with no ego. A man who doesn’t know what he looks like. Russian time travel. An immortal Joseph Stalin. An island full of sociopaths. A skyscraper full of serial killers. Torture devices endorsed by major corporations.

I am tired of truisms and platitudes and conventional wisdom, so I come up with new stuff instead. Ideas, ideas, ideas! Ideas forever.