10 September 2019

i am NOT ALLOWED to REACTIVATE my account on a certain SOCIAL MEDIA NETWORK until i finish cutting these three videos i filmed for it. then and only then can i flip the switch! that way i’ll have three weeks of videos, one per week, while i work on other ones!!! i have written a whole bunch more of them, too . . . maybe even twenty or so.

also: i have been editing 10–15 pages a night of this book i’m about to release. whoa! if i KEEP UP THE PACE, i’ll be done by the weekend.

see, i’m doing this thing where i spend absolutely no money and stay inside so i can Be Creative (lol). and, you know, i reckon one feeds into the other, and vice versa. which is to say: if i can’t spend any money, then i’m forced to make things. and if i’m making things, i can’t spend any money. cool!

finally: this morning, after having many horrifyingly realistic dreams that do not at all resemble any part of my real (??) life, i have made the executive decision to stop taking melatonin at night. the strange visions i see only depress me, what with them following me well into the afternoon, and it really does leave me in this state of despair, and fearful of going to sleep again the next night, and so on. i can’t be so affected by my dreams! they almost seem to come from someplace outside of me . . . as if, in taking melatonin, i unwittingly transmit a phantom radio signal in my sleep, which then invites in these ghoulish otherworldly nightmare worlds. no more! if i really gotta, i’ll stick to passion flower supplements that, while also bizarre in their own right, are more akin to acid trips . . . and hell, sometimes i even go into a deep lucid state, which is much preferred to the clockwork orange strapped-in-a-chair-with-my-eyes-forced-open state i have found myself in for the last few weeks. if i’m going to get stuck in an alternate dimension, i’d rather have some degree of control over where i end up inside of it.

anyway . . . back to work!!!