. . . oh hey . . . ummmm . . . my birthday is January 26th. Did you forget? There’s still time to look at my Amazon wishlist ok~~~

I am also happy to accept cash and checks made out to my LLC aka tax haven~~~

As for THE DAY ITSELF: I guess we’re all going to go to a place in Oakland which I will not name here because I don’t want any fuckin CREEPS showing up . . . and then we’ll go back to my fortified compound on the Oakland-Berkeley border and watch a hot film while sippin down cold beverages. It is going to be pure and beautiful. Seeya there, punx~~~

(p.s. i hate my birthday. i’m only writing this post in the hopes that someone will gift me with that which i desire most, which is a quick and painless death. or just send me a box of gold. thanks~~~)

(p.p.s. my birthday is one day after virginia woolf’s and one day before mozart’s . . . and four days after lord byron’s. cool huh??~~~)

(p.p.p.s. my amazon wishlist has bear mace in it~~~)