i think i’ve figured it out. i gasped in dark a few minutes ago when the thought came to me, which is one i’ve had before: that i have died and the life i am living now is a perfect facsimile of my old life, except that it is actually my own personal version of hell.

wouldn’t that be the worst sort of punishment of all? to be in a familiar place with familiar people, except everything is designed to torture you? and what is the worst torture of all except one that is slow and invisible to you? that is true psychological terrorism: destroying someone from within a nightmare of their old life, now that they are dead!

(i’m like 87% serious by the way)

((now i just need to piece together how i died))

(((let’s face it: in all likelihood i did it to myself)))