my life starts with “norwegian wood,” then segues into “girl,” and then mellows into “in my life” 

All of these things give me pause / make me paranoid when I am viewing The Online Profiles of Strangers:

• usernames containing “-asaurus” or “[name / initials of city currently living in]” or “weed” or “satan” or “pizza” or “tacos” or “zombies” or “aliens” or “666”
• anyone claiming to be “sapiosexual”
• vaping
• smoking hookah
• doing yoga on a beach
• doing any sort of spiritual pose while wearing an expression of total tranquility
• wearing straw fedora
• wearing Stevie Nicks hat
• wearing wide-brimmed black hat that everyone in Los Angeles wears
• wearing most hats
• wearing ironic clothing
• wearing corset
• wearing steampunk clothing
• wearing T-shirt that has the word “vegan” on it
• wearing T-shirt advocating a political candidate no one cared about six months ago
• wearing tape over mouth with something like “capitalism” or “mass media” written over it in Sharpie
• holding a child / being surrounded by children in a small rural village in a developing country
• sitting on a horse
• standing beneath the Eiffel Tower
• standing anywhere in Europe
• standing anywhere in South America
• standing anywhere in Southeast Asia
• posing with / next to a cocktail
• doing that one-hand-on-hip thing that my little sister still does
• wearing aviator sunglasses
• being at a sporting event
• wearing aviator sunglasses at a sporting event
• “witch” tattoos
• face tattoos
• face paint
• clown makeup
• dreadlocks
• huge gauged ears
• juggling things that are on fire
• hulahooping in a cheetah-print leotard on a beach at night
• space-themed leggings
• Lord of the Rings-themed leggings
• wearing most themed leggings
• wearing TOMS
• grey pointy manicures
• wearing small animal skull necklace
• riding a gigantic tricycle at Burning Man
• being at Burning Man
• posing at those corporate party photobooths where they give you silly hats and mustaches and glasses attached to popsicle sticks
• doing that thing where you put hooks in your back and hang from the ceiling
• holding or being in proximity to a banjo
• holding or being in proximity to a ukulele
• standing near a glockenspiel
• standing next to a guy who has a goatee
• doing acrobatics
• holding a Playstation controller
• wearing a Pikachu costume
• wearing an animal costume
• wearing a Halloween costume of a cartoon character who is popular with stoners
• wearing a Halloween costume of Heath Ledger’s The Joker
• posing with DeviantArt-looking guy in Doctor Who costume
• having pictures watermarked by some fedora-wearing doughboy photographer who has a “company” called [First Name] [Last Name] Photography

I will probably amend this in the future. But for now, there you go. Yikes!!!

(as i lay in the dark, many thoughts pass through my mind. . . .)

i don’t trust anyone who wears a t-shirt that has the name of the city they live in on it

well i just had my nightly quasi-panic attack so time to assume a supine position in the dark and pray to a cosmic entity who may or may not want to listen to me

my 27th birthday with my buddies

i love my buddies

i miss my buddies very much

Well: based on the fact that I just threw away a box of green tea that had contained 50 teabags, it looks like I drank 50 cups of green tea in the last nine days.

Last year I had the best birthday I’ve ever had. (And that ain’t no hyperbole all right!!) I usually don’t like my birthday. I’m sorry but I am one of those jerks. All the attention makes me nervous. I usually try to turn my birthday into something where my friends and I are just hanging out. You know? I don’t really want them to buy me dinner and pay for my beers and so on. I’d rather just be in the same room with them. Hell, I always want that.

Anyway: My roommate/buddy Tracey made me a chocolate cake, and my other roommate/buddy Laura made me a lavender shooting star cake. Tracey did buy me dinner but it was real good and I didn’t mind only because Tracey is a very sweet person and is incapable of doing wrong as far as I can tell. My friends Rachel and Megan came over and gave me a bottle of wine and . . . a radish, or something, I can’t remember. Then I went with a bunch of people to Missouri Lounge and Megan told us a story about accidentally going to an Insane Clown Posse birthday party. I went to a Finnish bathhouse (twice!) and my best friend told me she loved me. Man! It was so good. It was one of the best days of my whole god dang dumb life, now that I think about it.

I’m sure y’all saw this coming: This year I will be alone (with Dante) in my grandmother’s condo in Virginia across the street from the very hospital where I was born 28 years ago. I am sure it will be raining or snowing. (It has been raining or snowing pretty much every day.) Well, heck, I don’t know. I can’t do anything about that. Just wish I could have another shooting star cake, and another ‘I love you.’ I’m human! I can’t help but want these things.

;_; ☆ミ

oh god please come back

Man, it’s so strange. With the exception of a few months I was miserable practically the entire time I was in California, mostly because I was trapped in the same place and couldn’t get around much. But now that I’m out of it, the uh, you know, the “dream of California” has reawakened in my god dang brain. I mean I guess that’s what took me there in the first place. I did like it. Maybe I shouldn’t have lived in such a rough city though.

The only reason I don’t want to go to Austin (or go anywhere for that matter) is because then I have to stop hiding out in limbo with my cat. I like it because no one bothers me.