i am starbaby

i have met so many dumb and talentless people who will never have to worry about money

oh please spirit, let me go back

It’s too bad that most of the “fun” parts of a person can now be boiled down to various mental and personality disorders

earth . . . it was home to a lot of creatures. it was home to macho man randy savage. he spent his whole life there.

all i ever wanted was to be a cult hero!!!!!!

but as far as i can tell i’m just a sad loser who makes $20k a year

also one time i got stoned and cried during one of the muppets movies

today i decided i had a crush on the guitarist from some band and then i watched some interviews with her and decided i didn’t have a crush on her anymore

yup!

maybe because i’ve been friends with all the bad chemicals in my brain since before i was a teenager, i have developed stockholm syndrome or something

but i really do think i deserve all the awful things that happen to me because of how cruel and thoughtless i used to be

so be it, et cetera

if life were a high school football game i would be eating a snow cone beneath the bleachers

i have written about this before (or maybe i haven’t— my life is a screaming vortex of shadowy hallucinations (just kidding (kind of))), BUT:

there is absolutely a certain tone people take with me after a few years, which communicates to me indirectly, “nice talking to you, but there is no room in my life for you anymore, so i guess this is it”

there is a sort of implied finality is what i’m saying

and i’ll be honest: it has happened so many times that there is hardly anyone left

yeah