Oh, uh: We filmed the elaborate intro to the PIPEFEST III video yesterday. It was pro as as hell, man. Me and Grant “Smokey” Gleason went and bought some of those Chinese paper lamps and rigged them up over the set. And because Grant works at a camera rental place, we were able to get like $15k worth of filming equipment. It’s going to look so clean and beautiful, which is my preferred way of filming dumb trash like this.

Anyway: The “plot” is that I was murdered by the ravenous crowd at PIPEFEST II. But how do you have PIPEFEST III without me doing the commercial and hosting?? So these creeps resurrect me via seance and I return to the world until my task is completed.

Hannah did everyone’s makeup, and hell, it looked real good. She succeeded in making me look even more dead than I already look. I told her, I said: Just go all-out Beetlejuice on me, man. So I have green moldy spots around my ears and mouth, and blood coming out of my ears and nose, and on and on, on account of me being a reanimated cadaver (which . . . maybe . . . I already am. . . . lol).

LISTEN: I’m going to post the video as soon as it’s done. Hannah has just informed me that she has popped some Adderall and is already editing what we filmed yesterday. We’re filming the rest of the stuff on Wednesday. And then we’ll all gobble up handfuls of delicious Adderall capsules and string these scenes together right quick.

PIPEFEST III is on Saturday, June 17th in Oakland, California. If you want to come and you don’t know where it is, man, just email me. There will be food and booze and tons of idiots, and I will be the biggest idiot of all. For the third year in a row I’ll be on stage hosting. At some point I will probably get depressed and hide in the house. Don’t miss it!

See y’all on the pipe~