Ella came over for Dudes and we watched ‘The Departed,’ which I think I’ve seen maybe thirty times. We were hootin and hollerin and havin us a good old time. Afterwards it was late for her and early for me, but hell, we needed something to do, and so we drove up to Reed College. Ella told me she’d never been there and I think she liked it all right.

In the courtyard where I once jumped around a bounce house with some freshmen, I found a thing to sit on, and so I sat on it:


. . . I thought it was bolted to the ground, but it definitely wasn’t. And so as soon as I started sipping my coconut milk beverage-thing, and rocking around on that huge spring, whatever animal I’m seated upon began to fall apart and I almost landed on my face. I got off. I had to. I got off and I continued to look twelve years old someplace else.

We walked around the whole school. It was mostly deserted on account of it being summer. We found a rainbow bridge floating in the darkness:

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. . . and crossed it to get to the dorms. A young woman approached us near the, uh, soccer (???) field and asked if we had access to her building. I guess she’d gotten locked out or something. I said, “I reckon I don’t.” And she said she was bound to find someone else who did, and walked off. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that we were just a couple of creeps with no actual ties to the university.

We drove to Roxy diner downtown and ate breakfast foods. It cost me a little under $10. It is the only non-bill-related thing I can afford to do for myself for the rest of the month, and maybe longer than that. It was nice sitting there, though, eating pancakes and eggs and so on. There were quite a few people in there and everyone seemed friendly. I like that place a whole lot. It is maybe the only reason I ever go downtown.

In the morning Ella asked me to take a quiz to determine which ‘Sailor Moon’ character I am. Guess what, jerks? I’m Sailor Pluto:


Hell yeah, dude. Taken straight from the ‘Sailor Moon’ wiki: “Her attacks are based around time, the underworld, space, darkness, death, precognition, and powers granted by her Garnet Orb.” I love all that stuff! I love that stuff more than anything, actually. Also: “. . . her sailor suit is colored in black and garnet.” I’m a January baby, man. My birthstone is garnet. I myself wear a black sailor suit as well, if you know what I mean!!

Anyway I love her. She’s cool. I wish I were as cool as her. I am just a pale imitation.

Speaking of pale, Did You Know™: I haven’t been outside during the day in probably two weeks? I haven’t gone to sleep before 6 a.m. in about a month. I ain’t even kidding. What’s going on, Ryan? Who knows. Maybe I’ll know sometime soon. Maybe not!

When I do wake up today in the late afternoon, I’m going to SE Grind with my buddy Matt. And I’m going to get me a big cup of coffee (I have earned a free drink with my punch card~) and work there until I feel like crying.

One last thing: I am starting a forum. Yeah. Remember those? They’re so cool. Why don’t people use them anymore? Anyway it’s going to be secret. It’s going to be like a hidden fortress where my buddos and I hang out and avoid civilization. OK? Maybe I’ll tell you about it sometime.

But now I must take a double dose of magnesium and go to my own sort of underworld~

Good-bye my babies~~