Every year on the Fourth of July, my friends at the Pipehouse host an event called SLAUGHTERMELON. They set up a table on the Pipefest halfpipe and everyone takes turns slicing and punching and karate chopping watermelons. There’s food and beer and on and on. I think I’ve gone every year since I first started going. Yeah. It rules a lot.

Midway through the thing I was standing in the kitchen glugging down a liter of water when this girl came up to me. She said, “You’re Starpuncher, aren’t you?” I nearly choked!!

I said, “Uh, yeah, dude!” and we shook hands. She told me she’d watched a bunch of the dumb crap I’ve made, and that she identified with the “self-hatred and depression ones.” To which I said: “Hey, me too!”

A few seconds later there was a wet explosion outside. Someone had stuffed a huge firecracker into a watermelon.

Anyway, LOOK:

It was cool, ok, to be recognized~~

Allow me a moment of celebrity~~~