many of you will scoff at the very idea of this, what with it sounding insane and all, but i have accidentally discovered a beautiful marriage of two cheap and popular commodities we all KNOW and LOVE. it has, i think, the same sort of holistic perfectness as making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich using toaster waffles for bread.

it is a simple alchemy:

  • eat a 2-5 mg sativa edible
  • wait 30 minutes
  • drink a 12 oz cup of coffee

why sativa? cuz that’s what i got. i can’t vouch for indica, as i have not yet tried it. generally i like sativa better anyhow. and the coffee needn’t be fancy . . . i always go for the gas station stuff anyway, but then that’s me~

to those with severe anxiety, this formula probably sounds like all the makings of a severe heart attack, and maybe so. in a way, you’re shaking hands with the devil. so hold off if your system can’t withstand a bolt of lightning. however: if you have the same sort of bad wiring as i do, and who is to say what exactly that looks like, then this is just what the doctor ordered. after all, sometimes the devil can be your friend. we all get lonely, now and then, and so let us sup with that dark angel if only for a little while.

i feel as though i am sharing arcane knowledge. how did no one tell me about this before? surely i’m not the first!

brother mccune described this unique sensation thusly during our road trip to oregon in august, upon sampling the secret sauce for himself:

like sleeping on a shooting star

that just about squares it, as far as i’m concerned. it is a great cosmic feeling once the coffee kicks in. you have the all-over warm bodily glaze of the edible, and then here comes the ancient comfort of hot caffeine. lord!

put visually:

imbued with this psychedelic electricity, you are now curled up in your pajamas inside your sleeping bag atop a celestial body, traveling to all the strange and beautiful places it will take you. you are a sleepy star. and as anyone will tell you, there is nothing better than being a sleepy star. take it from me!

last night, while feeling gummed up and gorgeous on the sleepy star recipe, i went to the dark forests in the place where i grew up to look at the stars, what with them being so bright out there. and just when i realized how nice i felt inside, a green shooting star ripped through the night sky right above my head. it flashed like the flame from a roman candle and then vanished into the blackness of space. it was so beautiful. i felt just like that star just then. in other words: i saw myself up above looking down at me, and was glad. spooky action at a distance. cool!


good-night y’all!! ☆彡