Oh, God. I have known multiple people who refer to their girlfriends as “the girlfriend” or “the GF” or “the girl.” It makes my skin crawl. Just say her name, dude, or drop the “the” and say “my girlfriend.” Even my ex-girlfriend refers to her boyfriend as simply “boyfriend” (no “the”) and I wonder what the heck is up with that.

What’s up with that!!

Also: “My partner” is never going to sound natural to me. After all these years it still sounds off. I mean, hell, don’t let me stop you from using it. It just makes this sort of grinding noise in my head when I hear it and I don’t know why. Maybe because it sounds like you’re a police detective talking about your partner? Ahhh I don’t know.

“Significant other” is dumb too. It’s too long.

What about “my special friend”? Hah! That one kind of rules.

Or just never enter into a monogamous relationship in the first place??? I’m taking that route~