Last August I got this huge red rash on the right side of neck that would not go away. I tried everything to get rid of it but it only seemed to worsen! I’m not going to post a picture of it because, like . . . y’all could be eating or something. It was there for months. And I remember looking it up at the time, and apparently that’s where you get a breakout if you eat a lot of sugar or something. But I don’t really go for sugar, so I couldn’t figure it out. It didn’t really fully disappear until December, and it disappeared overnight. It was real weird.

My friend Sarah told me that that sort of rash is a quote-unquote stress rash. It occurs in a very specific place. In fact I remember my friend Monty having the same rash in the same place at the same time as me, and she was pretty stressed out back then too. As soon as we stopped feeling stressed out, our rashes vanished. I have felt a sort of calmness ever since and it has never returned. Hey all right!!!