21 February 2018

HEY:

Saturday is Twin Peaks day. Had you forgotten??

AS IS MY RITUAL, I will go to a diner and drink several cups of coffee and eat a slice of pie.

I did this last year at Tom’s Restaurant in Portland, which is a place I went to every Sunday for a year. Last year I got the marionberry pie. It looked like this:

The waitress had said: “You want me to heat up that pie, sweetheart?”

Said I: “Yeah sister . . . . . go right ahead and heat that baby up.”

As an adult man with $15 to his name, I ate my hot pie and drank my hot coffee in total silence. It ruled.

This year in glorious Oakland, California I am taking world-famous French-Canadian multimedia artist Laura Rokas-Bérubé and world-famous Los Angeles ‘Times’ journalist Tracey Lien, who are my sisters, my greatest friends, and the protectors of my harmless secrets. Remember how Howard Hughes only trusted his inner circle of Mormons? Yeah. Laura and Tracey— y’all’s my little Mormons.

McCune! Are you still in LA, dude?? Get your saggy diaper over to [undisclosed secret diner] and sup with us, you gorgeous villain.

Let us consume coffee and pie in honor of everyone’s best friend, Special Agent Dale Cooper. Let us mourn the death of a fictional teenage girl, and celebrate the Pacific Northwest of a surreal alternate universe. Let us live while others only pretend to do so.

Well: My soul is prepared. Is yours??