Hey I don’t really know what this means in the grand scheme of things, but I just wanted to let y’all know that I have completely stopped reading the inspirational quotes on the caps of glass tea bottles. My curiosity for them has evaporated once and for all. The other day I flipped one over and saw a completely meaningless out-of-context Albert Einstein quote about “ideas” and I knew right then and there I could never go back to that particular dark world.
Fortunately I’ll never really have to face the temptation of reading Gandhi quotes on the paper tabs of tea bags because, SORRY, I don’t buy that yoga mom horseshit. I go to a god damn Chinese grocery store and buy the least pretentious brandless workhorse 100-pack of green tea they have . . . just like any fine American should!!
LOOK: I’m mostly kidding, but before I end this thing, let me just say that it sure would be cool to just indulge in The Thing Itself without having to buy into a pretend quote-unquote culture / philosophy surrounding it!!!!!
Baby, it’s not a lifestyle: it’s shredded tea leaves that you pour hot water over.