Am I the only one who doesn’t “”fall asleep””? What’s up with that?? I feel like everyone I know just passes out every night whether they mean to or not . . . even (and especially) during movies! The only time I ever experience this is when I haven’t slept for like two or three days, and I’m on the verge of having my heart implode from extreme corporeal exhaustion, or whatever. Even then, I reckon this only happens a few times a year. I uhhhh don’t recommend it!

WHEN I WAS A KID I remember lying awake in the dark until like midnight until I finally was able to trick myself into sedation. For my entire life I’ve had to make a conscious decision to go to sleep versus just naturally falling asleep. Sometimes it takes like horse tranquilizer levels of melatonin or magnesium to put me under. I wonder why that is.

I really can meditate to put myself to sleep in a pinch. I think I’ve written about this before. I push all words out of my head and imagine myself tunneling through warm black porous soil. This is like a Defcon 5 emergency maneuver though, and sometimes it takes a while to get it work.

My eternal wakefulness is either a curse or a a useless ability. I’m full of both . . . more of the former than the latter though~

OK good-night ☆彡