I think people who make their living exploiting the weaknesses and insecurities of human beings should be put in front of a firing squad

Also people who use ukulele music in commercials

I felt it happen just now: every part of me turned to liquid and slipped right down the drain

this is going to sound like a rodney dangerfield joke, but the only reason i haven’t had a complete nervous breakdown in the last two days is because i can’t afford it ($$$)

seriously!

I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on, and I always have, and as long as I live I always will— and because of that I’ll always feel like I’m on the wrong side of it

In my twenty-sixth year of LIFE I tend to sleep near the wall

Yo check out this chronically-lonely-lookin motherfucker!!!!!

Uh huh

(This guy ends up killing himself so he can live in the utopia he’s dreamed up inside his head)

Remember when they replaced mulch in playgrounds with that porous bouncy rubber flooring?

When did they do that to the internet? It had to have been over five years ago. Maybe ten years ago.

Everything is so safe and clean and sanitized now. Jesus Christ. That’s nothing like real life. Real life is chaos! It always has been!!!!!!!

These freakin vanilla ice cream cones disguised as people

If someone introduced themselves as a “writer” I would probably start laughing and say “Oh is that so you miserable son of a bitch!!!!!!!!!”