I think that soon I’m going to get twisted and walk around Berkeley by myself. I haven’t done it since the beginning of summer. Lord! I had such a good time. When the sun was coming up I called my sister and we had a really good conversation. She was on her way to work, and I was on my way home to go to sleep.

I saw a marine having sex with a homeless woman in the entranceway to a Tibetan gift shop!

Also I befriended a lot of stray cats near the Berkeley Hills.

And an old woman and I waved to each other at 3 a.m. and it felt cool for some reason.

I played basketball in an elementary school playground! I’m sure there’s insane security footage of me doing this somewhere.

I ran around!

I sat on some swings!

Yeah I’m going to do it soon yeah!!!!

The best thing I can say about myself is that no matter what the circumstances are, I’m going to be laughing my ass off while I’m dying

I was just sitting here in the dark and I came up with a good epitaph for a dude who sucks:

“R.I.P.
THIS DUDE SUCKED”

Sometimes I imagine the day the first bipedal man-ape gazed at the setting sun and thought to himself “Oh hell yeah baby!!!!”

That was probably a pretty cool day

If you’re lucky, I guess you’ve got a few good years to look halfway decent and like some people and have some people like you back and get some stuff done before you finally sit down in a chair and stare out the window till your number’s up

I have these tall glass Virgin Mary candles, and on the back of them I found a warning sticker that you may as well slap on the back of me: “Burn within sight. Keep away from things that catch fire. Keep away from children.”

I just turned on my sink and black water came shooting out

Huge riots in Berkeley and Oakland . . . and helicopters circling the sky. I’ve heard sirens all day.

I got a call from my dad while I was at work. He left a voicemail asking me to call him back. Then he apparently forgot to turn his phone off, and so I have a voicemail with over two minutes of him talking to someone (possibly himself?). At one point he says this:

“My son is thirty-five years old . . . a green beret in the military. I called him the other day and said, ‘Son, I’m proud of you.’ My other son is . . . college-educated . . . smart . . . and dirt broke.”

Guess which one I am!

;-(

Yup