I have been, I guess, unofficially polling people about how they refer to themselves inside their own brain: “I”, “[name]”, or “we”.

Most people say “I”.

I always think of myself as “we” or “Ryan” or “you”—like there’s some much smarter dude issuing orders from the command center, but then they get acted out by a bumbling dumbass who only listens / gets it right half the time. So I’ll think, “What have we done?” or “Ryan, you fool! You’ve doomed us to hell!”

Like, sometimes when I’m walking around Berkeley alone on mushrooms, I’ll think, in a very gentle voice, “Hey Ryan, why don’t you have a girlfriend? Maybe that wouldn’t be a bad idea. I don’t know, why the heck not, man?”

Hmm!

On a similar note, whenever I record a voicemail, I use “we”: “Leave a message, and if we feel like it, we’ll call you back.”

Like the Sand People, I do this to hide my numbers. Plus, God knows I love to shake em around a bit, you know???

Sometimes I’ll pick Dante up and hold him and sing to him and he just lets me do it

Also I was thinking today that after seven years of knowing him, I still haven’t been able to locate his belly button

(If you’re just joining us, Dante is a cat (otherwise this sounds kind of weird))

I have never seen much point in getting heavy with either stupid people or Jesus freaks, just as long as they don’t bother me. In a world as weird and cruel as this one we have made for ourselves, I figure anybody who can find peace and personal happiness without ripping off somebody else deserves to be left alone. They will not inherit the earth, but then neither will I . . . And I have learned to live, as it were, with the idea that I will never find peace and happiness, either. But as long as I know there’s a pretty good chance I can get my hands on either one of them every once in a while, I do the best I can between high spots.

Yup

On a similar note: you know that face white people make when they’re singing and playing acoustic guitar?

All bullshit!

I don’t trust that face one damn bit

Please stop doing this!!! We’re not buying it!!!!

Faking emotions is weird!!!!!!!!!!

It would be cool if, instead of explaining their work, artists just made more work

Man nothing makes me roll my eyes harder than someone very seriously explaining the themes and ideas present in their work

Loooorrrrrdddddddd

The other day I was watching an interview with David Mamet, and the interviewer said (I’m paraphrasing) “So what are you trying to do with your work?” and David Mamet responded with something like, “I have no idea what I’m doing. Paying my wife’s bills. She loves shoes. She calls money ‘shoe coupons'”

See, that’s cool. Knock it off with this other stuff

I am much more likely to trust someone who says “I have no idea what I’m doing” than someone who pretends they do

Yup!

Oh yeah baby!!!!!

Been plugged into The Great Eternal Sadness for over half my life now!!!!

MmmmMM baby yeah!!!!!!

You feelin this or what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!