things are going to be different when i get back

i have seen the shelled-out crater of my childhood and now it’s time to make something new and angry

it’s time to crank the “cartoon” dial all the way up

let it bleed red

and just go balls-to-space with this thing

i’m going through old conversations trying to find the source of The Thing I Became

as of right now i’m going to stop fucking around and actually start that doomsday cult i’ve been talking about for years

look out

here it comes

i think i’m going to bike to berkeley

i felt a little better biking through oakland

a cute girl smiled at me and i almost slammed into a car because i was looking at her

and then i rode by a toy store and a bubble machine was blowing bubbles all over the place

and i went right through them

and i thought “yeah ok”

i’ve had a few fantasies in my head last few days, of you asking me to watch you die

one was us standing on a little dock on lake merritt

you told me not to save you no matter what before jumping in

and i just stood there

a long time ago now

Karel stayed in the room, alone with Ellington. He was happy the clouds had dispersed but was expecting nothing more this evening. That bit of an incident over the telephone call had suddenly revealed something he had refused to acknowledge: he was tired and no longer desired anything.

uh-huh

this post serves as my vote to change earth’s name to “hellprison”

i wouldn’t mind it if dead people visited me in my dreams so long as they were dead people i liked

i’m tired of all these other creeps

leave me alone, y’all!!

hey does anyone else wake up in the morning and look at their melted halloween mask of a face in the mirror and say aloud: “you should be dead, you stupid idiot!!!!!”

i alternate days

i don’t do it every day

today i said to the ghoulish face in the mirror: “life is a senseless terror!!!!!” and then i brushed my teeth and drove to work in total silence

yup

If I ever suffer from some sort of mental breakdown or get brain damage or something, and if in a moment of total insanity I refer to myself as a “free spirit”, I’m going to need one of you to take me out behind the woodshed if you know what I mean

Because come on, self-professed free spirits of the world

Ya gotta knock it off with that shit

Oh, uh: We filmed the elaborate intro to the PIPEFEST III video yesterday. It was pro as as hell, man. Me and Grant “Smokey” Gleason went and bought some of those Chinese paper lamps and rigged them up over the set. And because Grant works at a camera rental place, we were able to get like $15k worth of filming equipment. It’s going to look so clean and beautiful, which is my preferred way of filming dumb trash like this.

Anyway: The “plot” is that I was murdered by the ravenous crowd at PIPEFEST II. But how do you have PIPEFEST III without me doing the commercial and hosting?? So these creeps resurrect me via seance and I return to the world until my task is completed.

Hannah did everyone’s makeup, and hell, it looked real good. She succeeded in making me look even more dead than I already look. I told her, I said: Just go all-out Beetlejuice on me, man. So I have green moldy spots around my ears and mouth, and blood coming out of my ears and nose, and on and on, on account of me being a reanimated cadaver (which . . . maybe . . . I already am. . . . lol).

LISTEN: I’m going to post the video as soon as it’s done. Hannah has just informed me that she has popped some Adderall and is already editing what we filmed yesterday. We’re filming the rest of the stuff on Wednesday. And then we’ll all gobble up handfuls of delicious Adderall capsules and string these scenes together right quick.

PIPEFEST III is on Saturday, June 17th in Oakland, California. If you want to come and you don’t know where it is, man, just email me. There will be food and booze and tons of idiots, and I will be the biggest idiot of all. For the third year in a row I’ll be on stage hosting. At some point I will probably get depressed and hide in the house. Don’t miss it!

See y’all on the pipe~

BONUS~!!

PIPEFEST I and PIPEFEST II videos: