i made these for a video that i hated and got rid of

I wrote a novel. I never did anything with it. Why didn’t I do anything with it?

It looks like this:

Today, while sitting at my desks imagining ways in which I could hopefully die soon, I set what you might call a hard deadline for publishing this son of a bitch. It has to go out no later than January 2018. It frickin has to. My life is a disaster, my brain is permanently broken, my soul is doomed, and I’m an inch away from being chewing up in the cruel machinery of EXISTENCE . . . but so help me God, this sweet little baby is getting published, even if it ends up being a sort of epitaph to be scrawled on my mile-high tombstone!

This novel, which is called INJURY AND AFTERMATH, and which is probably not any good, is about some jerkoff loser named Rayon Starpuncher as he rides out the final days inside the big weird dumb twisted haunted amusement park called PLANET EARTH. There is a phantom whose name I won’t reveal!! and who moves between time and space, and so on, watching Starpuncher’s day-to-day life and visiting him in dark dreams to whisper things about the coming end times, and other dumb stuff too.

Man! It’s a cool thing maybe. But then what do I know.

OK! Y’all should get in on this thing when I toss it out into the world . . . but only if you want to!

~*^_^*~

sometimes i’ll be sitting there and i’ll remember that i lived in portland and i’ll get so pissed off about it

like comically steamed about having ever stepped foot in that rotten place

oh my GOD that fucking place!!!!

it sincerely creeps me out when a man who is not wearing a tie buttons his shirt all the way up

especially when it’s a short-sleeve button-up shirt

and is also wearing coral-colored and / or anchor-patterned shorts with boat shoes

it is not something that i even have to think about

there is something inherently deeply unsettling about it to me

maybe it’s because those guys tend to be republicans and / or cheese-eating GQ magazine sons of bitches

(tangentially related: the word “dapper” sucks and should be eradicated)

but these are my problems and, as with everything else on this insufferable hellprison called planet earth, i will continue to grit my teeth and bear it in (relative) silence

ok bye

I HAVE BEEN TO STRANGE PLACES AND ALONE THERE I HAVE MADE STRANGE FACES

In Robert Altman’s good-ass ‘McCabe & Mrs. Miller’ (1971), there is a scene where McCabe is in his bedroom mumbling to himself about how he’s got a thing for Mrs. Miller. It is very good and, if it’s OK with you, I’m going to post it here because hell I sure did go right ahead and transcribe it already anyway:

All the time makin me feel like I’m gonna make a fool out of myself. Now we’ll see who the fools is. Son of a bitches.

I never did fit in this goddamn town. God, I hate when them bastards put their hands on ya. I tell you sometimes, sometimes when I take a look at you. . . . I just keep a-looking and a-looking.

I want to feel your little body against me so bad, I think I’m going to bust. I keep trying to tell you in a lot of different ways. If just one time you could be sweet without no money around. I think I could. . . .

Well, I’ll tell you something. I’ve got poetry in me. I do! I’ve got poetry in me. I ain’t going to put it down on paper. I ain’t no educated man. I got sense enough not to try it!

Can’t never say nothin to you. If you just one time let me run the show, I’d. . . .

You’re just freezin my soul, that’s what you’re doing. Freezin my soul.

Well, shit! Enjoy yourself, girl. Just go ahead and have a time. What the hell.

That’s just my luck. The only woman’s ever been one to me, is just a whore. But what the hell, I never was a percentage man. I suppose a whore is the only kind of woman I’d know.

when i'm reading an article or a story or whatever the hell else online, and a word is a link, and when i click on that link and it takes me to a fucking wikipedia page,  i feel like screaming until my head falls off