ATTENTION OAKLAND:

Please stop inviting me to Starline Social Club. I’m sorry, but that place fucking sucks. Anytime anyone in Oakland ever invites you somewhere, whether they’ve known you for ten years or you just met them on the internet, or whatever the hell else, they always say the same thing: “How about Starline Social Club?” I get invited there literally once a week. And you know what . . . No!!! That place has no balls whatsoever. It was designed by and for those Oaklandish yuppie posers who EAT CULTURE and turn it into MEANINGLESS TRASH because they have no taste and a whole lot of Daddy Money. They are also the reason my rent is insane. So yeah this place blows big time. I mean let’s be real: this filthy roach motel is for guys who wear fedoras and zoot suits and bullshit like that. It is for cheese-eating Hitler-youth-haircut motherfuckers who have a mile-high stack of GQ Magazine next to their toilets. No way am I setting foot in that godawful hell. I used to live a few blocks away, don’t you know, in Ghost Town. Did you know there are huge homeless encampments nearby? As in you can see them from the sidewalk? And piles of clothes and wet newspaper blowing down the street like fuckin tumbleweeds? It is a dystopian nightmare! And yet here’s this god damn place laughing in the face of all of it. It’s this weird limbo where people who call Oakland “sketch” take their cute Tinder date because it seems Sophisticated and Adult or something. Gross. I don’t know man. Fuck off with that!!

A cursory search on the World Wide Web produces this image:

If this doesn’t make you want to DIE then I don’t know what to do for you. I guarantee you every guy not behind the bar has a degree in JERKING OFF and works at Pandora in downtown Oakland making three or four times as much as me. Cockroaches! Ugh!!!!

IN SHORT: Please stop asking me to go there. I will not go. I will never go to this place. I almost went one time because my friend Penelope asked me to meet her there. I took one whiff of the miasma of cheap cologne wafting out the door like a god damn Biblical plague and got the hell out of there. Yeah. I can’t wait to see this place boarded up six or seven months from now (lol)~

OK BYE

MEANWHILE. . . . i am an absolute monster

ALL WE CAN KNOW
IS THAT WE KNOW NOTHING
AND THAT IS THE HEIGHT
OF HUMAN WISDOM

i got a HOT TODDY with rachel k. at telegraph beer garden, and then alayna and i walked around all night drinking BAD WINE at san pablo park

and i gotta say . . . i love oakland

current as of 9 january 2019~

well, what color are his eyes?

i don’t know, he’s always wearing shades

is he tall?

well, i’ve got to look up

yeah? well i hear he’s bad

mm, he’s good-bad, but he’s not evil

i love sailor and lula

i love WILD AT HEART

i think i identify with it more than any other movie i’ve ever seen (lol)

and i am sailor (lol)

good-night

somehow forgot how much this album rules

nora put this on when she and leila and i were tripping midday on acid one summer a long time ago in new orleans

thanks nora

a few months ago i weathered a dark passage!! maybe one of the darkest yet. woof.

and it was during that time that i wrote an entry i will not link to, on account of the especially clumsy and embarrassing wording i deployed, where i said i couldn’t be a good friend at that juncture because i had to repair myself to be anything at all

well: the period of hibernation has ended, and to you i say, you know . . . lay it on me again, baby. let’s have it. i got my lobster bib on i’m ready for that all-you-can-eat buffet of friendship. i wanna help you. if you got something you need, just let me know. did you know people always call me for a ride to the airport, or to help them move? yeah. it’s because i’m a twerp and i like doing stuff like that, and everyone knows it. though yeah: let’s freakin shred it to pieces like a teddy bear in a rottweiler factory . . . bend it till it breaks off, that sort of thing. h’okay?

bye for now!!