23 January 2019

get used to being alone!!

change the words to the song!!!

and start singin again!!!!

. . . but for real i’m having the best month of my whole life~

and my birthday is on saturday so i’ll see y’all there~~!! ☆彡

21 January 2019


REMEMBER SPORTS ruled hard. Matt drove me and Marley and Kelsey to the city, and we sure did see them at this place called Bottom of the Hill, which is honestly a pretty OK place. Sure: There were a few cheesedick mouth-breathers in there, but whatever man . . . I went ahead and let myself have a good ol time anyway. The band was kinda shy and cute and they broke up a stupid little mosh pit that these doofuses were trying to start. Like the band stopped playing for five seconds and said: “Hey. Stop it. Do the people around you look like they enjoy that?” . . . and then kept on playing. This is absolutely not the kind of music that calls for a mosh pit, you idiot jerks!! Also: Kelsey found an extra $20 in the ATM so we drank for free. Cool!!!!


Quinn came over and we watched BAD LIEUTENANT: PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS, which is insane and beautiful. I had not seen Quinn in some time for one reason or another. Nothing happened . . . she just moved away and had a life somewhere else, and on and on, but it’s all OK now. Afterwards she was real tired and I wasn’t so I took some passion flower mixed with green tea and we fell the hell asleep. In the morning I made her almond butter toast and then she drove to Walnut Creek to hang out with her dad or something. Thanks for coming Quinn!! And please sell your motorcycle to me or I’ll cry~


I traveled to downtown Oakland this past Saturday to “”bartend”” a fundraiser for THE PAINTING SALON, which is a little collective-thing comprised of some fine people I know. It was real good. Joey and I wore nitrile gloves to Look Cool. He was my li’l keg pumper and I poured the beer and worked the cash register, and so on. There were two raffles and I actually managed to get a lot of my friends to show up . . . including my little sister and Brandon Sheffield and Christina and Yasmin and her temporary housemate Anna! Plus, uh, these two girls who recognized me as STARPUNCHER at Traitor Joe’s the night before, who I invited to come along . . . and who did show up and spend money, so hey!!

Anyway here are some pictures I took and which other people took and sent to me. I have a huge hickey on my neck that won’t seem to go away a week later, and which everyone kept making fun of me for. That’s world-famous French Canadian multimedia artist Laura Rokas, and Rachelle Bussières! I love them. My friend Fiona sat down and talked to me for a long time, so that’s her with the curly hair. She’s cool. My buddy Logan couldn’t be there so I included her by writing her name on my cup!!!

Fourteen (14!) pictures:

AFTER WE SHUT DOWN: Brandon and Christina and Yasmin and Anna and I went to RADIO, a kind of mini Ruby Room owned by the same people, and which was across the street. And then we went to Eli’s in West Oakland afterwards, a few blocks from my old house there . . . and it was like a dark and dreamlike high school reunion because pretty much everyone I ever knew in Oakland was there. Whoa. I did not have to pay for any of my drinks for the same reason I never have to pay for my drinks: because I know everyone and they don’t charge me, which is sometimes uhhh a bad idea.

Well: I think someone in charge told me I could bartend whatever the hell happens next time, so I’ll let ya know when it is. I wanna make a commercial for them too, if they’ll have me.


21 January 2019

oh man look what came in the mail today!!! it is my birthday present to myself. this thing is huge by the way . . . and it weighs a lot. it’s got 30 god darn blu-rays in it!!!!!! and this big thick hardbound book with nice pictures. i don’t own many things, but i am so excited to have this thing in my house. i think i’m gonna start blowing through it soon in chronological order, so get over here and jump in and out of the timeline whenever you want. ok???

17 January 2019

hey are any of y’all seeing REMEMBER SPORTS @ bottom of the hill tonight, which is in san francisco, california?? i’ll be there with a few of my Good Friends . . . so heck, come on by, why don’t you!!

i love REMEMBER SPORTS, which i will continue to capitalize by the way. they’re adorable and cool.

anyway yeah. ok. seeya there . . . or not!!!

17 January 2019

Whoa! I have a friend in Barcelona named Nina. She’s so cool. She’s a baker at some sort of famous bakery and she makes beautiful cakes every day. Well! Her sister Yasmin has been living in Oakland for the past few weeks, and Nina said she was a little lonely and didn’t know too many people, so I picked her up from the Berkeley Public Library in downtown Berkeley last night and we drove through the torrential rain to get to Missouri Lounge, where I told her we could smoke out back beneath the heat lamps. I got her a margarita and I drank a shot and a beer and we hung out on a picnic table beneath a tent while the rain came the hell down. She rolled me a few cigarettes and she told me she had been studying English that day since, according to her, her English isn’t very good. She’s nuts, because her English is So Good. Like my friends in Belgium, she has a way of phrasing things that a native English speaker would not think to phrase something . . . which is to say it is abstract and almost poetic sometimes. Hah! It has flavor is what I mean. It’s so good. And of course I can understand her perfectly. She wouldn’t believe me though.

Anyway: Yasmin is real cool. She has a tattoo of an owl with Nina’s name above it!! See:

Yeah!! She’s coming to my birthday party next weekend and everything. And I think maybe she’s gonna stay with me for a few days in February before she heads to New Orleans. I’m trying to find her a place there. . . . Leila!! Help!!

She has lived in Berlin for six years, and saved up a bunch of money to hang out in the US for six months to learn English and meet people. So far it has gone all right, but there were sadnesses she told me of too. She said everyone in Los Angeles was awful to her, but that people in Oakland were so inviting and helpful. And she said next time I’m in Berlin, which will be soon enough, I can stay with her and she’ll introduce me to all her friends. Whoa . . . yeah.

God dang it!! I love doing stuff like this. It is, I think, the best thing in my whole life—to hang out with people like Yasmin. I don’t know if Nina reads my website, but Nina, if you do: you got a good sister and I’ll take good care of her while she’s here. H’okay?

(P.S. I accidentally got very drunk, on account of having not eaten anything that day . . . and I went to use the restroom and found a plastic pistol that shoots mace out of it. It says something like PEPPER GUN on the side of it. I have no idea why I shoved it in my inside pocket, but I sure did do that. I found it this morning when I put my jacket on to go to work and was real confused. I guess I should probably take it back. What the hell am I going to do with a PEPPER GUN other then unintentionally shoot myself in the face with it??)

17 January 2019

i had been living in portland for probably a month when my friends natalie and melanie took these pictures on some god damn beach in oregon, the name of which i have forgotten! natalie, what was the name of that beach? i remember it took about an hour to get there, through a forest and what looked like a marsh. and we passed the tillimook cheese factory. it was a gloomy and windy day. there were hardly any people on the beach so it was mostly ours.

anyway: i had no home, and was crashing on people’s floors and couches and beds, and i had about $200 to my name and all of my stuff was in a refrigerator-sized storage unit on the southeast side, a few blocks from the river. it rained every single day of course, so i would walk across the hawthorne bridge every few days and swap out my wet clothes for dry clothes that had been wet the last time i wore them. i smelled like hell.

natalie and melanie put me up a number of times, which is to say they saved my ass! and they were kind enough to let me hang out with them all the time. they lived in a little basement apartment with natalie’s cat chip. natalie even folded my laundry one time, which made me feel embarrassed. she said she recognized a “theme” in my socks and underwear . . . meaning they’re all purple and burgundy (lol)~

that was a good day. we got veggie burgers at the burgerville on hawthorne blvd, a few blocks from the house that i would move into two or three weeks later, though i didn’t know that yet.

it is easy to romanticize this period of my life now, but back then it was a harrowing time. these two people made it way better though. otherwise i would have been alone . . . or hanging around people i met through the internet, which i did too, though hell, that ain’t the same. i liked being around natalie and melanie most of all.

thank you for being so nice to me. i have not forgotten your kindness! i miss you both.