Well: Along with my spirit-sisters Laura and Monty, I went to South Lake Tahoe and Reno, Nevada over the weekend. Tahoe was so nice . . . I had not been there in many years. Reno on the other hand was a miserably stupid cartwheeling freakshow straight to hell, which makes it sound way more exciting than it actually is. It is more like a Mars crater filled with dog turds and cigarette butts . . . but maaaaannn we sure did go ahead and have ourselves a good ol time anyway. I’m going to write about it tonight, after I sort through the hundred or so pictures the three of us collectively took. And I reckon Laura and Monty have actual film to develop, and so on. Hmm.

ALSO:

Laura and I are going to Europe this summer. We’re either going in July or early August and might meet up with Monty depending on where she is. We’re gonna fly into London and stay with uhhhh yeah 💜 someone I know, and then make our way over to Berlin. Hello? Belgian friends? What if we passed through? Can we sleep on the grass behind your house?

AND:

See y’all in Los Angeles next weekend. Yes??? OK~

LISTEN: I got a lot to say. I have written and created all these things to put here, and they’re like 85-90% done. I just need to finish them, for god’s sake! Lord . . . I don’t know what happened, but I’ve been real prolific recently. If I ain’t makin stuff I’m riding my bicycle or rollerskating with a tall pink-haired alt girl!!! I love it.

OKBYE

HELLO

In anticipation of the new shit I’m about to finally post on my store, I have reduced the price of my GRITT CALHOON novella-thing I wrote some time ago and heavily revised at the tail-end of my miserable year in Portland. It is of course mind-numbingly dumb, but maaaaan I love that sort of stuff. My friend McCune once said, to paraphrase: “It is pure and beautiful.” He is I think the only person who has ever liked it enough to tell me so.

You know: I actually recorded the audiobook when I revised this thing. I had mono and my voice sounded weird (in a bad way) so I didn’t use it. I recently rerecorded it, so I’ll send it out when I cut it down a little.

Anyway: Please buy this thing. How are you going to continue to live your life knowing you’re missing out on this:

“Shit’s lookin’ good, man,” he said to Gritt, who was loading two M136 AT4 anti-tank rocket launchers. “We gunna give these boys hell, that’s fer damn sure. Just seein all this fuckin shit again is gettin the blood flowin in my big ol yew-know-what.”

“It’s a purdy sight, no doubt about it,” said Gritt. “We have built ourselves a fortress of death, and it is from this place that we shall once again ferry the souls of our enemies to their fiery beds below.”

“Amen,” said Shark. He scratched his balls from outside his pants with a chicken bone and bit his bottom lip. He was in an inquisitive mood.

“Hey Gritt,” he said. “If’n ya could have two penises, would ya want one on top’a the other, or would ya want ‘em side-by-side?”

Gritt pondered this for a moment.

“This might sound controversial,” said Gritt, “but I reckon I’d prolly want ‘em side-by-side.”

“Yeah?” said Shark. “Whyzat?”

“‘Cuz I’d rubberband ‘em together to make one big ol superwiener.”

Gritt saw Shark smile a little. “Whatchu smilin ‘bout, boy?” he said.

“Nuthin. Jus thought it was cool that we had the same thought process. Superwiener’s definitely the way to go. The logistics of the pinkn-stink combo makes my fuckin head spin. Hell, I’d almost rather do fuckin long division,” said Shark, who pretended to know what long division was.

Click on either of the images below to help me pay my electric bill:

THANKS!!

happy birthday to my hero orson welles

my best friend laura rokas finished her mural last sunday. she worked on it for two weeks straight and it almost killed her. but yes: her mural is in the lobby of an evil corporation in the south bay. laura felt guilty about it, but i told her, you know: baby, you take that money and run. fuck em.

and look! her wall is so beautiful, and So Laura Rokas. i picked her up in fremont on the last night and we immediately drove to in-n-out on the ride back up to oakland and got french fries lol

(the mushroom is a sort of secret message. it immortalizes the cool-ass night we had a few weeks ago ☆)

((FUN FACT: laura doesn’t like ladybugs. she thinks they smell bad!!))

lol what’s up tombo

hey does anyone wanna go to PIEDMONT SPRINGS with me next week??

(i miss you!!)

i love purple

I volunteered to do a thing for work that involved me holding up a sign upon which I had written something about mental health. Don’t worry about that. All that matters now is that I created a blank version to distribute to the world. Put something on the sign and send it to me. Or don’t! Here it is anyway. Bye!!!