monty is here!

💜

i made these! for pallas’ birthday! if you look closely, you can find JACKSON and TOMBO chillin with each other~~

the birthday friends!! we’re cute ☆

happy birthday pallas 💜

From reading the emails and letters y’all send me, and from meeting you in person and staying at your houses and talking with you late at night, and on and on: I get the sense that most of the people who read this stupid hidden back-alley website perched here on the crater rim of total annihilation, and at the end of all things, are a lot like me, which is to say that we are the same kind of person. And who knows how many of us there are anymore, or whatever, though I have met and befriended enough to know that there are a good number of us left. And LOOK: I am in bed in the dark and I have taken my little passion flower supplement, which helps me sleep and have strange lucid dreams, and I was thinking that uhhhh I hope it is comforting for you to know that we both exist and feel the same way about things, even if a lot of other people don’t feel those things. I am here in the dark writing this stuff every night. I don’t reckon much of it has much substance, and maybe a good deal of it is obnoxious, but I hope y’all get something out of it, even if it’s just to feel less alone about being trapped here on earth.

So! Yes! Go ahead and keep writing to me! I will write to you too. I don’t want anything from any of you, and I’m not selling anything. I’m just some guy with a little website and I call the thing what it is for good or ill. It does not ever cross my mind to say anything other than what I genuinely think and feel, even if it is embarrassing, which it often is. You have been so nice to me for so many years. I like being your friend. For whatever it’s worth, there it is. Thank you for reading.

☆彡

best friends

leyla took this~

we bought cute things at daiso and then walked to emeryville marina

not pictured: tombo holding a daiso bag full of cute things

dang dude. my spirit-brother and high-caliber human TOMBO took this photo of PALLAS and me last night. he did a long exposure . . . the sky was completely black and you could only barely see the roses. we may as well have been fumbling around in the dark, and then look here at this god damn beautiful photograph of a dopey black-haired grease-slicked idiot standing next to someone much cooler! whoa: and the fog rolling over the trees up above and misting everything below. yeah.

it had been misting up in the hills, in grizzly peak, and you couldn’t see anything beyond your nose . . . just a swirling grey abyss of cold wet air. we sat down on a felled redwood and pallas huddled against me to stay warm while tombo tried to take pictures of all that nothingness. my clothes and hair were damp within minutes and i knew that when we made our way back down to euclid avenue, i would take my friends to the rose garden there, which would be very nice what with the roses being watered and all, and knowing the three of us could be alone there to run around and smell all the flowers . . . which is what we did! man, we had a good ol time exploring those secret passageways and tunnels and playgrounds and forest bridges, and on and on, all hopped up on cheap coffee from colonial donuts. that right there is The Best Stuff, don’t you know. i wanna keep doing that stuff for the rest of my stupid life. h’okay?

somewhere in all of this, tombo managed to take that surreal photograph of my beautiful friend and me looking like we’re in a diorama or something. uff!! love y’all~ 💜