19 September 2020

I uhh . . . just discovered this cryptic email I sent to myself at 2:30 am on july 19th, 2018??

Here it is for posterity! Now I’m finally going to sleep.

17 September 2020

yeah baby!!!

lol “bring this email with you” like it’s something you put in your pocket and carry around

17 September 2020

This is a receipt showing that 1) I’m cool and 2) welcome to stay with my friend Mable and her roommates / my new friends Erin and Annabelle in Chicago, Illinois “any time”.

:,)

17 September 2020

Am I the only one who doesn’t “”fall asleep””? What’s up with that?? I feel like everyone I know just passes out every night whether they mean to or not . . . even (and especially) during movies! The only time I ever experience this is when I haven’t slept for like two or three days, and I’m on the verge of having my heart implode from extreme corporeal exhaustion, or whatever. Even then, I reckon this only happens a few times a year. I uhhhh don’t recommend it!

WHEN I WAS A KID I remember lying awake in the dark until like midnight until I finally was able to trick myself into sedation. For my entire life I’ve had to make a conscious decision to go to sleep versus just naturally falling asleep. Sometimes it takes like horse tranquilizer levels of melatonin or magnesium to put me under. I wonder why that is.

I really can meditate to put myself to sleep in a pinch. I think I’ve written about this before. I push all words out of my head and imagine myself tunneling through warm black porous soil. This is like a Defcon 5 emergency maneuver though, and sometimes it takes a while to get it work.

My eternal wakefulness is either a curse or a a useless ability. I’m full of both . . . more of the former than the latter though~

OK good-night ☆彡

16 September 2020

Just testing some stuff! Lord, I need a new logo, and I think this might be the one.

Also: I’m getting close to finishing my redesign of this website. I like the way it is now, and it will more or less always be the base design, but I just made it a little better is all. I don’t ever want it to be complicated. Personally, I don’t really dig websites like that. Maybe only I will notice the things I’ve changed. That’s OK. Yeah!

14 September 2020

“. . . see how elastic our stiff prejudices grow when love once comes to bend them”