many of you will scoff at the very idea of this, what with it sounding insane and all, but i have accidentally discovered a beautiful marriage of two cheap and popular commodities we all KNOW and LOVE. it has, i think, the same sort of holistic perfectness as making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich using toaster waffles for bread.

it is a simple alchemy:

• eat a 2-5 mg sativa edible
• wait 30 minutes
• drink a 12 oz cup of coffee

why sativa? cuz that’s what i got. i can’t vouch for indica, as i have not yet tried it. generally i like sativa better anyhow. and the coffee needn’t be fancy . . . i always go for the gas station stuff anyway, but then that’s me~

to those with severe anxiety, this formula probably sounds like all the makings of a severe heart attack, and maybe so. in a way, you’re shaking hands with the devil. so hold off if your system can’t withstand a bolt of lightning. however: if you have the same sort of bad wiring as i do, and who is to say what exactly that looks like, then this is just what the doctor ordered. after all, sometimes the devil can be your friend. we all get lonely, now and then, and so let us sup with that dark angel if only for a little while.

i feel as though i am sharing arcane knowledge. how did no one tell me about this before? surely i’m not the first!

brother mccune described this unique sensation thusly during our road trip to oregon in august, upon sampling the secret sauce for himself:

like sleeping on a shooting star

that just about squares it, as far as i’m concerned. it is a great cosmic feeling once the coffee kicks in. you have the all-over warm bodily glaze of the edible, and then here comes the ancient comfort of hot caffeine. lord!

put visually:

imbued with this psychedelic electricity, you are now curled up in your pajamas inside your sleeping bag atop a celestial body, traveling to all the strange and beautiful places it will take you. you are a sleepy star. and as anyone will tell you, there is nothing better than being a sleepy star. take it from me!

last night, while feeling gummed up and gorgeous on the sleepy star recipe, i went to the dark forests in the place where i grew up to look at the stars, what with them being so bright out there. and just when i realized how nice i felt inside, a green shooting star ripped through the night sky right above my head. it flashed like the flame from a roman candle and then vanished into the blackness of space. it was so beautiful. i felt just like that star just then. in other words: i saw myself up above looking down at me, and was glad. spooky action at a distance. cool!

well:

good-night y’all!! ☆彡

one time, years ago, this tall russian girl who i did not know and had never met before drove her motorcycle up from LA and stayed with me in oakland. i’ve written about her before. she was a really interesting person. she said she was a famous blogger in russia, and i looked her up and she actually was. this was a genuinely bizarre one-of-kind sort of person. how we found each other is insane. the previous summer she had passed by my police car while in a greyhound bus when i was in LA for a writing assignment that completely bankrupted me. and now six months later she was in my house almost 400 miles away. anyway, i felt like i had met an extraterrestrial. we had a few strange and interesting days together and then she went back to LA.

for the sake of brevity, i’ll just say that she had a similar sort of website as mine. and every now and then i’d look and see what she’d been up to. people sometimes tell me they periodically check my website to see if i am still alive. i guess it was the same impetus for me. though yeah, as it happens, the last thing she had written was about me and this other guy she knew in oakland. i thought: “whoa.” what are the odds? i hadn’t checked her website in a while and now this thing was there at the top of the page and it was definitely about me. she referred to me as “starboy”. and in this post, she basically psychoanalyzed me for some reason. it wasn’t mean. she was just making a point about something and used me as an example of someone suffering from a certain kind of self-delusion. at the time i thought she was doing a lot of reaching. we didn’t really know each other that well, so it was like, c’mon . . . you ever heard of the goldwater rule??

well: years later it is 2 am and i’m sitting in a car in an empty parking lot in my hometown, and i just felt a black streak of terror shoot down my spine as i realized that this girl was absolutely stone-cold dead right about me lol

if you play this enough times, your youtube recommended algorithm will turn into gold

i have found some of the best music i’ve ever heard in my life this way

also . . . utakata no hibi / 心臓の扉 itself is so good! here it is on bandcamp if you want to listen to the whole thing. also, this label puts out a lot of cool stuff that would otherwise be lost to time. wow! thanks y’all

yeah!