DID YOU KNOW: I am often accused of having a Howard Hughesian aversion to germs? I reckon it’s true enough. I’m not necessarily weird about being dirty / unwashed. Sometimes I myself go a few days without bathing and shaving, and my hair is pretty greasy a lot of the time. But it freaks me out when people put their fingers in their mouth or don’t wash their hands after they use the restroom, and so on. And see, I wash my hands after I eat, even in a restaurant, and I don’t touch anything in a public restroom. I use my foot to open the door and I use a paper towel to turn the sink on and off and when I touch the door handle on the way out. I compulsively have to wash my hands after I shake someone’s hand . . . especially when their hand is warm and moist. Ew!!
My friend once introduced me to her new boyfriend, who came over to my house and ate a few slices of pizza next to me on the couch. In my peripheral vision I watched in absolute horror as he proceeded to lick his fingers clean of pizza grease afterwards, and then wipe his hands on his pants!!! I felt like throwing up. After he left, she asked me about him: “So what did you think?” I must have grimaced when I said, “Uh, he’s OK.” She pressed me further. In the name of honesty, I said, “The guy sucked on his god damn fingers after he finished his pizza!” She closed her eyes, and, as if it pained her to finally acknowledge a truth she had been avoiding, said, “I know.”
I cannot abide. To paraphrase DREDD: That’s an automatic fail!!
Wow! I have THE AVIATOR on, which is what inspired me to write this. And just now there was a scene where Howard Hughes is grossed out in a public restroom (lol):
Though yeah, in conclusion: I am not at all afraid of dirt, or someone’s natural body odor, or anything like that. What gives me bone-deep chills are the disgusting germs on people’s hands because of poor hygiene and gross habits.
And just to be clear: Yes, like my hero and spirit-brother Howard Hughes, I would absolutely lock myself in my own private movie theater for four months and piss into milk bottles. OK?? Now wash your fucking hands!!!