yeah lol
it’s 4 am here in oakland, california, and this sums it up for me!!
having gone through what i just went through, i figured i’d feel a lot worse than i do. that’s how it’s gone historically anyway. i feel ok though. that’s nice~
when i wake up tomorrow, i’ll feel some more things
lord! that edible sure did kick in. see, i invented a thing by accident a few years ago where i drink a cup of coffee and then eat an edible. if the thought of combining marijuana and coffee gives you a heart attack, then i understand. but man, it definitely rules. after a few minutes you experience something weird and beautiful . . . mccune calls it “sleeping on a shooting star”. you end up feelin juiced and dreamy at the same time. it’s just that very soon i’m going to have a difficult time writing. i think hunter s. thompson said that once: that weed was one of the few drugs he couldn’t write while on. it’s true!
i’m going to put on elvis’ version of BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER and brush my teeth and eat a bunch of sleep supplements and make my room dark and cold
and then i’ll see if it’ll successfully sedate me, which i desperately need right now
after all . . .
our summer’s just started . . .
i guess i should feel like a fool but i don’t. i always feel like a fool but i don’t feel especially foolish right now is what i mean. i am comfortable with the amount of foolishness i feel. i had anticipated much more! maybe there’s a victory in that
you know, it really is easier to get on if your soul is clean. it is a very good feeling. another good feeling: my face is warm right now and my eyes are a little watery and my body feels rubbery. maybe it is time to lie down with dante and DREAM the DREAM of “LIFE” . . .
in the afternoon i will wake up and sit down here again and write some more things. i have a lot i want to write down. maybe i’ll write all day . . . and then see emma and daphne in the evening. but before i do i’ll publish it all here. ok??
man i love being a big dumb freak on the internet. it’s so much fun
well! what else is there to say right now except this:
☆彡
“i never know how to respond to any question you’ve ever asked me”
lol
my friend freya in my room observing a portrait of laura rokas by laura rokas, and my friends emma and daphne at the wolfhound in north oakland
sad but true lol
whoa! happy birthday to my good friend pallas / dinersiren / the pink-haired girl, who is also part of the 26 club (i’m jan 26th). she’s cool. reckon i’ve known her for a long time now
i almost met pallas two years before i actually ending up meeting her. back in portland, when i was sadder than i’d ever been in my whole life, our MUTUAL FRIEND invited me to some gallery opening she was going to with pallas. i already knew who pallas was and wanted to meet her, but for some reason i couldn’t go . . . i think i had to work that night. (back then i worked 10 pm till 3 am which is absolutely as miserable as it sounds.)
ANYWAY: i didn’t go. years passed. one spring i went back up to portland from oakland to hang out with monty and molly, shown here because i’ll find any excuse to post this cute picture:
monty and molly and i went on a bender at sandy hut with pretty much everyone i knew in portland. at some point we all left and drove over to the florida room. it was there i ended up meeting pallas
she was sitting in a booth near the entrance wearing a white fur coat and a velvet cheetah print shirt. she was tall and had pink hair. i don’t remember how this ended up happening, but she poured hot sauce on my face with my blessing, and then we went into a photo booth and figured it’d probably look like blood:
next day she picked me up at a coffeeshop near my old house in southeast portland. we had a real good time driving around drinking coffee, and then we went rollerskating, which i hadn’t done in probably a decade:
afterwards we picked up monty and went to this kind of obnoxious yuppy bar where the bartender wears a bowtie. they put a whipped egg on my whiskey sour and it was really good, but man it was like $12. monty said to pallas: “if you invite ryan someplace fancy he’ll just get one drink and complain about how much it cost.”
i was planning to throw a party to resurrect kermit the frog from my backyard, and i needed an angel, so asked pallas if she’d be the angel in the uhhh accidental performance art segment of it. she said sure! and came to oakland six weeks later to be an angel, and then stuck around for a week to hang out with jackson and tombo and me:
A MONTH LATER i visited her in portland again. we hung out at the elvis room and sandy hunt, and saw ‘once upon a time in hollywood’ at laurelhurst theater, and got coffee and walked around . . . and then drove north into washington to visit the twilight high school (lol) and eat at stardust diner. well . . . she’s the diner siren and i’m the star sailor, so it seemed like the place to be. yeah:
for the sake of brevity, i won’t list out every single anecdote that took place in the subsequent years leading up to today. hah!
POINT IS: pallas is one of the sweetest people i’ve ever met, and i’m glad she’s a good friend of mine, and happy birthday to her, and so on. ok?? 💜
found myself in chrono cross
