gego is my valentine
i need him!!
Yesterday I met Julia at the Staatsbibliothek zu Berlin in Potsdamer Platz . . . I had unknowingly walked by it at least half a million times but had never gone inside until then. The place is quite beautiful. I’d always wanted to visit ever since I saw it in WINGS OF DESIRE, in black and white of course, but actually walking around this massive building in person in technicolor made me feel a certain way. I texted Julia saying I was in the lobby and then walked over to the information desk and got a library card in a matter of minutes. The guy at the counter let me pick out which card I wanted . . . there was a butterfly, a parrot, and an ox. Naturally I had to choose the ox and now you will know why:
Julia came over and said, “I wish I’d picked the ox.” She had the parrot, which was also cute. It was the most colorful one. Really, you couldn’t have gone wrong either way, and I told her as much. The parrots need representation too . . .
I put my bag in her locker and took my camera with me. They won’t let you enter the library proper with a bag on account of the place has very old and very valuable books and they don’t want anyone stealing them. I wondered what kind of person would steal a book, but then I reckon anything is possible. Hey man, times are tough . . . Julia said she had earlier picked up one of those very old and very valuable books and it essentially had disintegrated in her hands. Good luck pawning that off!
On our way up the stairs, we ran into my friend Firuza, who was on her way out. I said, “Come on over sometime and watch a movie . . .” and she headed off into the cold snowy night just outside the library doors. Later that night she would text me and tell me she was glad I was alive. I had, after all, only weeks before stared into the twin voids of the Grim Reaper’s dark gaze, and had survived to now gaze into the living light behind hers . . .
I did not stay long—just long enough to Take It All In and surreptitiously film as much of the building as I could. I was cautious about it . . . the last thing I needed was to have my precious ox library card revoked not fifteen minutes after receiving it on account of filming the place without permission. I don’t think any of the footage is usable necessarily but maybe I can toss it into the B-roll pile when I’m assembling the show I’m currently writing and filming. Who knows!!
Afterwards I caught a bus near the (former) Sony Center and headed back to Schöneberg where I fielded, one after another, three separate phone calls from friends who needed Love Advice. I told them all that love is very good and always worth fighting for . . . even if sometimes you find yourself alone on the other side of it, as I have many times. At least from that place, I said, you can remember that someone you loved once loved you too.
Monty and me in Chinatown in New York during happier dayz . . .
:o)
ode to my friends
pictured: laura and dante and gayle and The Pink-Haired Girl and mitch and grant and alayna and jess and hali and mable and tracey and kelsey and cara
i was going through my camera and found this. that’s my friend (and former fiancée (long story lol)) bex . . . i filmed her show at a pub in london back in may
:,)
september, some time ago, with bethany
via my friend devilsblush
MAN!
. . . as I keep going through this footage Elina and I shot at Monster Ronson’s, it looks insanely cool when we basically had no idea what we were doing . . . I just set the ISO to 800 and let it rip. Once I really GET THE HANG OF IT, maybe I’ll actually be able to create some purpose for my continued existence upon this planet, here in the Dark World and at The End of All Things!
OH!
In a few weeks I’m flying to the US . . . I’m going to Richmond, NYC, LA, the Bay Area, and so on, to film a bunch of stuff with my friends there. I will not think any further than that. Thinking comes later, if at all . . . it would be so nice to never have to think again.
LISTEN:
As I was telling my friend Molly today, there is only the work now. That is the only antidote for pain. You have to place a present for yourself in the future and then keep living to get to that point. You can open it if you survive. That present can be anything you like, but for me it is completing the things I am making. I do not care what it’s all about. All I want to know is how to live in it. Maybe if you found out how to live in it you learned from that what is was all about.
