Laura made this when we first moved to North Oakland with Tracey. Notice that Dante and Laura are holding hands!!

OK, so, it is absolutely hideous right now, but I have built an archives page:

>> HERE IT IS~~ <<

I’m gonna beautify it. I don’t know how, but I’m going to make it so it’s not just a fuckin list of months.

Also: if you do end up going through any of this stuff, especially the older stuff, please be gentle with me. I have always been a disgruntled cynic, but maybe I used to be clumsier about it. Or perhaps you will find that my views and ways of expressing them have not changed much in all the years I have been publishing stuff on this website. Well, fine! In a world where no one ever really means what they say, at least I’ve always been consistent!!!

<3

i sleep in this t-shirt every night

(i am 12 here (that t-shirt is over 16 years old!!))

my hero

Does anyone want to come watch like twenty episodes of the Twilight Zone with me tomorrow???

Here is my current bio:

RYAN STARSAILOR is “an endless self-perpetuating black hole who got lost on the way to his own birthday party.”

You can swap out “birthday party” for “funeral” if you wish~

thanks y’all~~

This uhhhhh make more sense than anything else I’ve ever read, to be perfectly honest!!!

This is what I’m working with until I evacuate the state of Oregon and head back down to California

My mind is a disastrous ruinous nightmare city. But my body feels pretty OK!

I think it’s because I do the same stuff to my body every day. This is what I do:

• sleep in absolute darkness
• drink a gallon of green tea
• drink a gallon of water
• blend spinach, peanut butter, strawberries, blueberries and a banana together into a smoothie-thing and gulp it down quick
• combine half a cup of red quinoa with black beans and eggs and spinach in a huge bowl and eat the whole thing
• eat a bunch of almonds
• take zinc, magnesium citrate, and vitamins B6/B12, D and E

Then I take a 30-second shower. Then I run a bath and fill it with epsom salt and vitamin E oil. I light incense and listen to Cool Tunes. I hang out in there for an hour. When I get out, I use this coconut shit on my skin. It rules so hard.

I write at least 500 words. I read a BOOK. I go walkin.

Late at night, at 3 a.m., I go down into the basement and do push-ups and kettlebell curls until I feel like throwing up.

Don’t be fooled: It ain’t all pretty. There is a lot of self-loathing and muttering and absolute godawful dread that takes place along the way.

But anyway: There you go! bye

hali and me