i guess laughter really is the best medicine . . . when your doctor won’t give you an oxycodone prescription!!!!

boom

blasted

I don’t know if y’all know this but I have a bunch of scars on my face. Like six of them! Some of them are pretty deep. Mostly I don’t know how I got them. Anyway they don’t bother me one bit, and also I am one step closer to fulfilling my childhood dream of becoming the gambler / rogue / ladies’ man Setzer from ‘Final Fantasy 6,’ who, yes, has a bunch of scars on his face because why the heck not:

Um he also looks like this:

God hell yeah! Look at those scars! I got me a few of those. Those scars, baby. Those scars.

Anyway: I have a sort of movie villain scar on my brow. It is thick and vertical. One night about a year ago I was drunk as hell watching ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ and it was very dark and I got up to get some water and slammed my face into a doorframe. My skin split wide open. It was nuts. I’ve never had anything bleed that badly. It was gushing out and running down my face. I even documented the scene that was on when this occurred, which I guess also sums up how I felt:

And this is what it looked like the next morning when I was delivering donuts all over the Bay Area:

Yeah baby come and get it!!!!!!!

Well well!! It’s that time of the day (nearly 3:30 p.m. EST) where I have to scan the drunken text messages and emails I wrote in the middle of the night to gauge how bad the damage is. . . .

I am not a mean drunk! I am not even a mean sober. By “damage” I am referring to sentimental reminders that I sometimes give people when I’ve had a few too many beers I bought from the gas station. You know? I tell people I care about them and that they are welcome in my home at any time, but maybe that’s kind of annoying sometimes.

As I read these now I realize that in all the many ways these things can go, last night was pretty god dang OK. These were two-sided conversations. They were pure and beautiful. Yes yes~~

I am humbled and confused that this website has what seems like a sizable Belgian audience

How hey y’all doing over there

What’s up

et cetera

I have a lot of experience with this: you feel a certain way, and another person feels the exact same way, and then time passes and they let a new feeling take its place, and it’s as if they have amnesia . . . they can’t possibly imagine how you could still feel the same way when they’ve already moved on to that exciting new feeling.

Every morning when I wake up I have to clean the house because every night I get drunk and leave beer cans everywhere and books scattered on the floor and different costumes I use for movies hang over all the furniture. . . .

blow me

i know what i am going to write today and it feels good. i am going to write a multi-part essay about the strangers i knew in the bay area. many of them were very sweet to me, and we liked each other a whole lot. many of them just disappeared.

yup yes