19 January 2016

every day when i wake up, i make coffee while dante watches me from the counter, and then i go puff his fur up and sing to him

19 January 2016

Hey why not, here is The Agenda For Today, or “The Heavy Work I Must Complete To Earn My Place In Heaven.” Yup:

  • finish reworking “DEATH-YODELS FROM THE DEEP: A YEAR WITH ROCK & ROLL” (I think this is going up tonight)
  • edit the hell out of my novel, which, for GOD’S SAKE, I’m finally going to publish
  • I wrote a little skit, I need to film it
  • feel all right, drink some coffee
  • help my needy cat have a fulfilling day
  • outline the next Gritt Calhoon tale, which is mostly written in my head as much as you can really write those things, which is tentatively titled “Gritt Calhoon and The Big-Ass Hole In The Ground” (it is about Gritt discovering a big-ass hole in the ground and then investigating it)
  • I have decided the next Gritt tale will star “old Gritt.” After I finish it I’m going to publish a four-story book with his adventures up until this point

yeah baby what’s up

19 January 2016

I am terrified when someone who self-identifies as a “writer” publishes an essay / story that has a one-word title, and begins with a sentence like “I open my eyes.”

19 January 2016

my favorite expression that my brain automatically produces when i spot one of these types in the wild is “. . . get a load of this linkedin-dot-com-looking motherfucker”

19 January 2016

well guys, just wanted y’all to be first to know that i’m moving to new york to make $32k a year being a social media maven!!!

. . . wait, no, i’d rather have 10 gallons of rat poison pumped into my body intravenously (lol)