listen: i don’t know how to feel about it one way or the other, but i have noticed that anyone who spends time with me eventually starts saying “baby” and “turd” a lot more than they did before
lol that rules
hey for real
seriously
knock it off with these
FIRST,
COFFEE
tanktops
i’m going insane seeing all these things
please for god’s sake stop
no more!!!
next time i see one i’m just going to scream until my brain explodes and then fall ass-backwards into a six-foot-deep hole in the ground and stay there forever (lol)
what if instead of being able to see The Other World, you could only hear it??
i wonder sometimes if i’m picking up other frequencies . . . or maybe i’m just going completely insane
i was lying here in bed just now and i thought i heard a sort of ocean-like sound. it could have just the blood in my head, but i hope it was the alien oceans of another world that is layered above or below the world i reluctantly inhabit
nevertheless i will continue to put out my own signal and hope to god some friendly entity from this nearby dimension comes to rescue me from this endless nightmare here on earth
and someday later i’ll tell my new friends in The Other World, i’ll say: “yes, there once was a place called the world, and i lived there for a long time. man, what a shithole! now, for god’s sake, will someone please pass me another one of those big huge parallel dimension beers cuz baby i got a few things i need to forget about!!!”
man: anyone who tells you to “hunker down” or “nut up” is a freakin jabroni and you should absolutely cut all ties with those cheese-eaters
same goes for people who work in corporate offices and call themselves “storytellers”
or guys who read philosophy and sleep on a twin mattress on the floor lol
My little sister and her medium-sized boyfriend came to visit me in California. I took them to Point Reyes, which is in the North Bay. It’s real cool there. You can inhale clouds and walk around on alien vegetation and stare into the screaming oblivion called the Pacific Ocean, way the hell down there. We even saw a family of deer eating some weird-ass grass. Man. It really does feel like being on a different planet. Basically: the place rules a lot.
Anyway: Kendall’s boyfriend Adam took these. Nice going, dude. This is primo stuff ok. I like it. I love it. I god dang want some more of it.
I myself took some pictures that day. They look like dog shit compared to Adam’s. Maybe I should post them anyway. I think I will tomorrow. Yeah.
(To Kendall and Adam: Thanks for coming, you damn punks. Quit fuckin around and move over here already. Also I’m sorry I accidentally ditched you to hang out with a girl at an Iggy Pop show.)
((Sarah, if you’re reading this: I had a really good time seeing Iggy Pop with you~))
Every year on the Fourth of July, my friends at the Pipehouse host an event called SLAUGHTERMELON. They set up a table on the Pipefest halfpipe and everyone takes turns slicing and punching and karate chopping watermelons. There’s food and beer and on and on. I think I’ve gone every year since I first started going. Yeah. It rules a lot.
Midway through the thing I was standing in the kitchen glugging down a liter of water when this girl came up to me. She said, “You’re Starpuncher, aren’t you?” I nearly choked!!
I said, “Uh, yeah, dude!” and we shook hands. She told me she’d watched a bunch of the dumb crap I’ve made, and that she identified with the “self-hatred and depression ones.” To which I said: “Hey, me too!”
A few seconds later there was a wet explosion outside. Someone had stuffed a huge firecracker into a watermelon.
Anyway, LOOK:
It was cool, ok, to be recognized~~
Allow me a moment of celebrity~~~
Thanks~~~~
as if you are a stranger in a world where nobody believes you exist
WHEN WE ARE BORN
WE CRY THAT WE ARE COME
TO THIS GREAT STAGE OF FOOLS.
CRITICS AND AUDIENCES AGREE: Ryan Starsailor is “. . . a death-pale subterranean just-when-you-think-the-world’s-a-joke gloom-freak jerkoff-loser”~
