Remember at the end of ‘Aladdin’ when Jafar gets a hold of the lamp and he wishes that he was the sultan
And then says there is a “new order” and like destroys a bunch of shit and turns the city into a nightmarish hellhole
And then he wishes to be the most powerful sorcerer in the world
Yeah man hey that’s kind of what this feels like doesn’t it
OR: In ‘Back to the Future 2’ when Marty returns to the alternate 1985 where Biff has the sports almanac and he has turned Hill Valley into a dark dystopian wasteland and he lives inside a gold-plated penthouse at the top of casino tower and owns the police and tries to kill Marty with total impunity
Yeah it’s that too huh
Actually it’s way worse than all of that, because it’s reality
Time to start digging that grave
If you don’t, someone else is gonna dig it for you
And I done reckon it’s gonna be the “mass grave” kinda grave
Keep hope alive, my friends
But just to be safe, maybe also keep a cyanide capsule beneath a fake back molar
Tonight I was going through some old stuff and I found an unmarked CD. I plugged in a really old computer I have just to use the disc drive to see what was on it.
And uh . . . whoa! Uh oh!
There were a bunch of folders with pictures I had totally forgotten existed at all. They’re all from 2003.
One of the folders was called “KMFDM”.
Almost exactly thirteen years ago I went to KMFDM concert in D.C. with my brother Jeb and his girlfriend Liz and my friends Megan and Meg. I had a godawful haircut and a godawful everything else. Megan (red hair) liked me. I liked Meg (black hair). My brother (muttonchops (ugh)) was extremely intoxicated. His girlfriend (pink and purple shooting star shirt!!) was really cool.
Well, there’s no point beating around the bush any longer. Here you go. Here is 15-year-old me looking like a dumb little baby:
Those passes on our legs were given to me by their tour manager. I emailed him a few times before they came to D.C. and he told me he’d hook me up. I have no idea why. That guy was real cool.
Anyway, yeah!! Sascha, the dude with the mohawk, is real cool! We were pen pals for years. And that’s his wife Lucia kissing me on the cheek!! She actually kissed me twice because Jeb wasn’t sure he used the camera right the first time. I remember Lucia saying something like, “I know what you’re up to here, you tricksters!!!!”
God help me, I have hundreds of other pictures from that year. Maybe I will start dropping them on this website every now and then. Maybe not! I probably will. Who cares!!!
Tonight I perform an experiment: I will attempt to go to sleep unaided by wine or melatonin or magnesium or whatever else. God help me, I’m going to try to do it myself.
Wish me luck!!
Y’all, we’ve been having fires every night. What the heck! Get over here and hang out!!!
(They aren’t usually this insane, by the way. I just got carried away tonight~)
I just found an old email my friend Harrison wrote me. This is all it said:
“I’m not okay, but I feel alright”
Yeah, brother. YEAH.
My sister was looking through some photos at my grandmother’s house, and she found a picture of me and a girl I quasi-dated for five years. I didn’t even know that this photo existed. I think my grandmother was taking pictures of my sister on the night of her homecoming dance, and my kind-of girlfriend and I just happened to be around. (I realize now that this was almost exactly nine years ago~)
It was strange as hell to see. We were around each other so often and for so long, and yet there are very few pictures of us together. What’s more is that in the photo we even have our arms around each other. Whoa! It kind of freaks me out to see that, though maybe that’s because I’m me, and that picture doesn’t really seem like me at all. I look at him and I think: “Baby, what are you doing!”
Well—back then it was OK. I mean, it really was OK. And if I were going to put my arm around anyone, I reckon she’s the person I would put my arm around. I have not really had a 100% fully natural inclination to touch someone that way since.
She was real cool. I dream about her all the time. I don’t mean to or anything—she just slips in there. Usually we’re doing two of my favorite things, both of which we did a lot together, which was to walk around at night and to talk in bed. Yeah. Those are pretty good dreams. I wish I could still do those things with her. (Maybe I wish that more than anything else. . . !!)
In the photo, she’s wearing a T-shirt I gave her for her birthday, and her hair is bright red because she had just dyed it. Were I a ghost who could perceive the dimension of time, I would sail through the ether to that precise moment, and I would say to the two friends there, one of whom used to be me: “Make it last, you fools. I don’t know how, but for God’s sake, please find a way.”
My friend Molly clued me in on an early limited release of MAD MAX: FURY ROAD (Black and Chrome Edition~~), and so today Matt and Kerwin and I woke up early and crossed the river to see it. There were maybe six or seven people in the theater, all middle-aged / old dudes, and us three precious boys plunked down in the front row and had a screaming good time.
SPOILERS: It rules.
Apparently George Miller got the idea to do a black and white Mad Max back when they were scoring ‘Road Warrior’ in 1981. He walked in on a recording session and a rough black and white cut of the film was playing on a huge screen in the background. And he said to himself: “Holy lord. This rules.”
But of course there was no way the people paying for ‘Fury Road’ were going to let him release a 2016 blockbuster-budgeted summer action movie in black and white—so he released it in color, and boy oh boy is it beautiful!
And now we have both! Isn’t that great? George Miller says the black and white cut is his favorite. I agree! I had a real good time with it. It was already a masterpiece. Now it is even weirder and more abstract.
(I regret that I was unable to snap a good picture of Furiosa. They all ended up blurry. It’s just that she’s so fast!)
Anyway: Please go see it!!! Please!!!!!!
My grandmother turned 90 years old yesterday. She was in Virginia and I was in Oregon but we talked on the phone. She told me to find a girlfriend. “Date a nurse,” she said. (She kept telling me to date a nurse.)
She sounded good! She said she was mildly annoyed about having to celebrate her birthday, because she’s very busy and it interrupted her schedule. Hell, that’s great.
I took this picture of her five years ago. Whoa! It’s a good picture huh??
Straight from the bottle, baby. That’s the only way to play it!!