oh hey i’m in california by the way

if you are too: lemme know~

what happens when you create an alter ego and then die inside of it— while the alter ego lives on??

stay tuned and find out!!

FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS: Miranda and Cera, I have written you both letters, and they are in the mail. I’m sorry it took me so long!! I’ve been very busy self-loathing in the dark, and reading sci-fi novels, and muttering to myself, “For God’s sake, how much longer do I have to do this?”

These days I do all of this in a black sweatsuit, don’t you know. American Apparel is going out of business and so I bought this sweet sweatsuit during the big snowstorm in January. It’s so sweet, dude. I wear it all the time. I wake up and I make black coffee in my little black French press, and then I sip it and put my free hand on my hip and survey my street from my stoop, and I think, “Hell, look at all this crap.”

And then I do 100 push-ups divided into 4 sets!

Today, in my black sweatsuit, I walked down to the postbox on Hawthorne Boulevard and deposited two letters in brown envelopes. One is destined for Berkeley, California and the other for Vancouver, BC. Those are for my friends Miranda and Cera.

About fifty feet away was the place where I work. I went inside and hassled everyone for a few minutes. Then I left!

I thought about my dreams. The Elder Ones had visited me again and showed me things that didn’t make much sense to me. Sometimes these things end up making sense later on. I for sure have premonitions pretty frequently. Visions! Versions of future realities! Though I just think it’s . . . the uh . . . I am seeing through the multitude of dimensions that are super-compressed / laminated together . . . linear time being the only way humans can perceive change, and on and on. Basically these things have already happened because everything that is ever going to happen has already happened, and it happened, all of it, at the exact same time, and continues to happen over and over again, we just don’t know it, et cetera. What has not yet been finished here on Earth is finished in eternity—that sort of thing.

I’m just kidding. But I’m not! I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m not kidding though, even if I really am kidding (but maybe I’m not kidding).

Anyway: Y’all got some mail coming your way. Look out for it. I decorated the envelopes real nice. I think they look pretty OK.

AND NOW: I am sitting here in my black sweatsuit sippin a cup of green tea, and hell, this is all right for now. Yeah. Yeah. I think I might go walking. The sun has set and it is chilly out. It would feel nice to walk around in that.

when i woke up and read that the new healthcare bill didn’t pass, it felt like the end of ‘return of the jedi’ when all the ewoks and rebels are celebrating and dancing and drumming on stormtrooper helmets

I did not care what it was all about. All I wanted to know was how to live in it. Maybe if you found out how to live in it you learned from that what is was all about.

you know if you say you like ‘the sun also rises,’ someone is bound to give you shit about it

whatever, man

it’s really good

Uh . . . whoa! I stopped jerkin around and finally 100% finished my store, which had been 97.8% finished for probably six months.

At any rate: We’re open for business, baby. Here it is, and you’re welcome to feel however you want about it:


I designed and coded everything from scratch. Does it look OK?

I got the ☆DELUXE☆ edition of ‘Gritt Calhoon and the Midnight Assault’ up so far. If you’ve already read it—hell, read it again. I’ve heavily revised and added to it. I think it’s something like a couple thousand words longer . . . but who knows! Certainly not me. Get that thing, man. Chew on it for a little while. There’s a lot to chew on. Each paragraph is as big and juicy as Gritt Calhoon himself. It’s different than the thing you remember. And if you’ve never read it, then you’re about to have a real fun time hanging out with my good buddy Gritt.

It’s a real professional-looking PDF, too. It’s got a cover, an epigram, a dedication page, and nice typography and everything. I spent a long time putting it all together.

Lookit this thing:

There’s gonna be an audiobook! Can you believe it?? An mp3 full of bad strangeness that you can put on in your car and make all your passengers feel weird about! McCune says he’s makin some ambient stuff to play in the background. It’s gonna go up in a couple weeks. It’s gonna be insane. I’m gonna scream until blood shoots out of my ears when it’s finished, and then y’all can take it and keep it. It will be my gift to the world. Just leave my corpse where it drops. That will be my gift to the landlord.

I’m also publishing a few other things I’ve written. The longer stuff! All getting the deluxe treatment! Packed with preservatives!

And then: Physical Stuff. Stuff sucks, but maybe this stuff will be OK. It’ll be cheap and dumb . . . just like me! I designed a whole bunch of it. Now I just have to put up the money to bring it into the three-dimensional hell called Earth!

OK! Help me out! Every sale I make goes right back into this god dang store (and, uh, also I’ll probably buy cat food). I don’t plan on making a dime!! I’m still gonna have fun with it anyway. What else can you do??

Sweet dreams! ☆彡